WINNERS OF THE GAME OF LIFE

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“You win some and you lose some.” That’s a phrase that we often hear when someone is putting something that occurred in their life into perspective. I find that phrase interesting because it implies that life is a game that you can either win or lose. If that’s the case, we must all assess our life’s scoreboard and determine if we are currently ahead or behind in the game. Go ahead and take a minute to do that. If you feel like you are winning, please continue reading this entry and find out about life’s biggest winners. If by chance, you feel like you are behind right now, the rest of this entry will certainly give you hope for a second half comeback. I mean if these people are winning, I really don’t see any reason why you can’t also.

Personally I feel as though my life is pretty good, so I don’t have any complaints. I feel like I have a comfortable lead on the scoreboard and should be able to maintain it as long as I don’t put JR Smith (the modern day John Starks) in the game and let him shoot me out of contention. Although I feel good about my current position in the game, I know that there are some that have a more comfortable lead than I have. Those are the people that I will be talking about below. Since this is a sports themed blog, they will all come from the world of sports. Without further ado, I present to you the people that you should all hate because they are doing better than the rest of us, yet no one can explain why.

When I came up with the idea for this entry, I decided to enlist the help of my friends to come up with people who have basically kicked life’s a$$ and become the ultimate winners in the game of life. I must say, my friends are just as sarcastic and snarky as I am because they came through with some great ones. Some of which made the final cut. So shout out to all of you for your help with this entry!

Before I get into the individuals that made the list, I must first acknowledge an entire job classification. If you hold this job that pays from the mid-six figures to the low seven figures, you are truly winning. You get paid a princely sum to basically be a glorified office supplies manager. That job my friends, is the THIRD STRING NFL QUARTERBACK! The job description of the Third String NFL Quarterback is as follows:

Looking for an organized individual with some college football experience. Primary responsibilities include making photocopies of the starting quarterback’s playbook so that he will readily have a replacement available when he loses his, making sure that the quarterback meeting room is stocked with highlighters, dry erase markers, and note cards, and ensuring that the lunch order is successfully delivered to the intern. An applicant with a degree in psychology is desired because he will be able to listen to all of the whining and complaining that the starting quarterback does about the offensive coordinator. The candidate must also be self-motivated because he will receive 0 snaps in practice, because quite frankly no one cares about him being ready to play. Therefore he must be able to learn all of the running plays in the playbook on his own, so that he is prepared to hand the ball off as many times as necessary in the event that the two quarterbacks that we actually pay to throw the football are injured. A squeaky clean image and background is also required for this position, because the last thing we need is a scrub that never plays getting into trouble off the field and bringing negative press to our organization and the league. Finally, candidates with previous baseball experience at any level above little league will be given preference because they historically wear a baseball cap better than those with no baseball experience.

To be honest, this may be the best job in sports. If not it’s a close second to whatever is. Therefore all of the people fortunate enough to earn their living in this capacity, are truly winners in the game of life.

Now to the individuals that show us that our lives aren’t that good after all. Especially when compared to theirs.

Since I’ve lived my entire life in Atlanta, I think it’s only fair to start with people affiliated with my once beloved Atlanta Hawks. I know, I know, all of you think that I am about to talk about Joe Johnson here, and you are correct. I will get to Joe in a minute, but first we must discuss the ULTIMATE WINNER IN THE GAME OF LIFE, SHELDON WILLIAMS! Sheldon played his college basketball at Duke, which pretty much means that he was a system player with inflated numbers, as all Duke players not named Grant Hill were. For some reason in 2006, then Hawks general manager Billy Knight decided that Sheldon Williams should be the FIFTH PLAYER SELECTED IN THE NBA DRAFT! It was bad enough that the Hawks picked Sheldon, but the fact that there was no mystery around the pick made it worse. The fact that Williams would be the Hawks’ pick leaked days before the draft, so no one was surprised when it was finally announced on draft night, and even fewer people were surprised when he was a bust! To put in perspective how far back this decision set the Hawks franchise, we must remember two things. First there is the fact that the previous year, Knight chose Marvin Williams over Chris Paul and Derron Williams. Obviously that didn’t work out. Then Sheldon Williams was chosen over the likes of Rudy Gay and Rajon Rondo. And to think, Knight was shocked when he was fired as the Hawks’ GM.

Some people who aren’t familiar with Sheldon Williams are reading this and thinking, “He was a bust as a top five NBA pick, that must have been pretty tough to deal with. How does that make him a winner at the game of life?” Now I will answer that question. Most people who are as bad as Williams is at basketball (career numbers of 4.5 points and 4.3 rebounds per game) don’t last very long in the league. However, Williams has not only lasted, but he has managed to make over $12 million dollars in six short years. Oh, it gets better. He has certainly outkicked his coverage when it comes to the woman that he miraculously convinced to marry him. I’m not here to talk about how Williams looks (although he is definitely the starting power-forward on the All-Ugly NBA team), but it’s safe to say that a career as a Sean Jean model is not in his future. Yet somehow, he managed to get Candice Parker. Don’t get me wrong, Parker will never be confused for Paula Patton, but in her world of 6’4” WNBA players she is pretty much the equivalent of Beyonce. We must give props to Sheldon Williams because an over-drafted, terrible NBA player that may have been the inspiration for Shrek, has managed to hang around in the league for six seasons (so far), make more money than most people will ever see in their lifetime, and marry a women that is so far out of his league that even he must be surprised that she said yes. More power to you brother. You have definitely won the game of life.

This brings us to Williams’ former teammate and current holder of the title of “The Most Overpaid Player in the NBA,” Joe Johnson. Joe Johnson has never taken the Hawks past the second round of the Eastern Conference playoffs. Joe Johnson is a career 17 points per game playoff performer (which is lower than his career regular season average). Joe Johnson was paid over $18 million this season (actually he received a prorated amount of that total due to the lockout, but that’s not important in this context). That’s outrageous, right? On the surface it is, but once you look further into his contract you will see that he was a relative bargain this season. Over the next four years, Johnson will earn salaries of approximately $20 million, $21 million, $23 million, and $25 million. The fact that LeBron, Wade, and Bosh will all be making less over the same period of time makes it fair to say that Joe is definitely winning the game of life.

Before I leave the NBA, I must talk about my fellow Georgia native, Kwame Brown. Can you imagine the feeling of being chosen as the first pick in the draft by His Airness, Michael Jordan? That has to be like being an unsigned rapper and Dr. Dre decides to give you a free track and Jay Z goes ahead and gives you a sixteen on top of that. A co-sign by such legends would really validate all of your hard work leading up to that point. The fact that Michael Jordan made Kwame Brown the first pick of the 2001 NBA Draft had to make Brown feel as though he was on his way to a Hall of Fame career. I mean if MJ thinks, you can play, you must really be good (I’m sure Adam Morrison agrees with that). Kwame’s career has been abysmal up to this point, except for his stellar 2003-2004 season (I say that tongue in cheek) when he averaged a career best 11 points and 7 rebounds per game. Since that was his third year in the league, many saw that season as the beginning of his breakout. They were wrong. It was an aberration, That was as good as it got. However, Kwame must thank his parents daily for giving him the tall gene. Simply because he is 6’11” and is coordinated enough to run up and down a basketball court without routinely tripping over his own feet, Brown has made a whopping $58 million dollars in the NBA. This total includes the nearly $7 million that Golden State paid him this season after he had spent the previous 10 years of his life convincing the entire league that he absolutely sucked! I guess their scouts saw something that no one else saw. No scratch that last sentence, what I meant to say was, I GUESS THEY HAVE BAD SCOUTS! Kwame Brown may not have figured out how to be a great basketball player, but he has certainly found the cheat code to win at the game of life.

Everyone who knows me, is probably thinking, “I know Tim Tebow is going to be on this list.” They’re probably thinking this because they know how I feel about Tim Tebow. But to be quite honest, mentioning Tebow in this entry would really be too easy. Luckily for you, I don’t care. You had to know that I couldn’t pass up a chance to talk about the guy who has yet to master the art of the forward pass, yet somehow became a starting NFL quarterback. Not only has Tebow managed to become a NFL starter, he has had the most fortunate things happen to him when he is on the field that make it seem (to those that don’t really know football) that he is actually a good player. Last season Tim Tebow somehow managed to lead the Broncos to the playoffs. They even managed to win a game once they got there. In order for him and the Broncos to be successful last season all of the following things needed to take place, and did:

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• Chicago Bears running back Marion Barber stupidly ran out of bounds to stop the clock late in the fourth quarter of a game that the Bears would have won, had Barber simply allowed himself to be tackled in bounds and run out the clock.
• New York Jets safety Eric Smith over-pursued on a play where his assignment was to keep backside contain, and allowed Tebow to get outside and run for a touchdown.
• The Oakland Raiders lose to the San Diego Chargers in the final week of the season. A game that would have put them into the playoffs over the Broncos.
• Pittsburgh Safety Ryan Clark misses the playoff game in Denver because he cannot play at the high altitudes in Denver because of a medical condition. In his absence Demaryius Thomas was able to beat the Pittsburgh secondary like a drum on his way to a career   day.   

The fact is that all of these things happened and the Broncos did have a small amount of success with Tebow at the helm. Although Tebow was unceremoniously kicked out the door by the arrival of Peyton Manning, he found a soft landing spot. He was traded to the New York Jets, who currently have the equally terrible Mark Sanchez at quarterback. Therefore it’s a pretty good chance that he will beat out Sanchez at some point during this season and once again become a starting NFL quarterback. Yet, he still hasn’t learned to throw the forward pass. That’s basically the equivalent of someone becoming a doctor, yet they don’t know how to interpret a blood pressure reading. I wouldn’t want that person to be my doctor and I wouldn’t want Tebow quarterbacking my favorite NFL team. Yet, there he is defying all odds and winning the game of life. Good for him. Bad for Jets fans, but good for him.

Finally we have everyone’s favorite football executive, Matt Millen. As an NFL player, Matt Millen won four Super Bowls. After his playing career, Millen went into broadcasting. He was successful in that realm and was widely considered as a rising star. For some strange reason, Millen thought that he would be a good front office decision maker for an NFL franchise. Boy was he wrong! In 2001 Millen became the CEO of the Detroit Lions. This job also included the football decision making duties that are usually held by a general manager. Upon taking the job in 2001, Millen’s Lions went 2-14. No sweat this was just his first year in charge. The fact that they were 9-7 the year before he took the job isn’t important. He was going to tear this thing down and build it back up the right way. In the 2002 season, the Lions made significant improvement and finished with a record of 3-13. Alright, so now Millen has had two seasons to get everything in place for the Lions to regularly compete for playoff spots. Of course 2003 was going to be their year. They finished 5-11. Guess what, Millen still has a job because he is pointing to steady improvement (from 2 to 5 wins) as evidence that he has the franchise pointed in the right direction. It didn’t get much better over the remaining four years of his tenure. Over the course of his seven years with the team, the Lions amassed a record of 31 wins and 81 losses. While with the Lions, Matt was responsible for the drafting of such stud players as Joey Harrington, Charles Rogers, and Mike Williams. With first round draft choices like those, is anyone surprised that the Lions were terrible during Millen’s tenure. Although he got out in time, Millen’s spectacular draft acumen laid the groundwork for Detroit’s historical 0-16 season in 2008. Looking at how bad he was as an executive you would think that it would suck to be Matt Millen. If you feel that way, you are sadly mistaken because not only was Millen able to keep the position in which he was historically bad, but the Lions paid him $50 million to run their franchise into the ground. You may want to take a pause and get a drink of water to let that sink in for a minute.

Thanks to the Lions’ ownership, Matt Millen is indeed a winner at the game of life.

I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY:

Instead of the usual lighthearted “Baller & Scrub of the Week” section that I usually close out each blog entry with, I would like to use this space to talk about what has been going on lately in my beloved NFL. As you all know by now, future hall of fame linebacker Junior Seau, recently took his own life. It has been widely speculated that brain trauma that occurred during his 20 year NFL career led to his decision to commit suicide. At this point, that is only speculation, because no one has studied his brain as of yet. Upon hearing of his death many NFL players have been thinking about their own mortality and the quality of life that they will be able to enjoy once the cheering stops and they are forced to join the real world with the rest of us.

Over the past two weeks, three players have decided to quit the game over concerns of suffering concussions and the lasting affect that they can have on the rest of their lives. Granted, none of these players are household names (two were undrafted rookies and one was an offensive lineman earning the veteran’s minimum), and no team will be holding a ceremony to retire their jerseys, but they are the first sign that players are starting to really ask themselves if it’s really worth it. For stars such as Michael Vick, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Calvin Johnson, and Larry Fitzgerald, the financial rewards for playing the game are so astronomical that they will have to be knocked out of the game before they decide to walk away by their own free will. Unfortunately for football players, the majority of them will never earn that type of contract, so they have to really think long and hard about the ramifications of their chosen profession.

I am the biggest NFL fan that I know, and I have long admitted to being the ultimate football hypocrite. As much as I love the game, I have never played it and I would NEVER let my child play it. I have always played a variety of sports throughout my life, so I understand the bumps and bruises that come with athletic competition. However, the types of injuries that you can get playing a game as violent as football simply aren’t natural. Football is one of the few remaining gladiator sports. It isn’t a contact sport, it’s a COLLISION sport. Every Sunday when a player fastens his chin strap, he is willingly going on the field to experience the equivalent of a car accident as many times as necessary to get the job done.

I freely admit that I would rather do what I do for a living for the money that I make, than play in the NFL for the money that they make. Unfortunately for the future of the NFL more and more people are beginning to think like me. First we have professional athletes quitting the sport. This will have both a trickle down and trickle up affect. The trickle down affect will be caused by the fact that parents are simply finding that the sport is unsafe and are starting to prevent their kids from playing it. This will undoubtedly affect the talent pool of people that the NFL draws upon. Granted, that affect won’t be felt for twenty years or more, but the talent drain has begun. The trickle up affect is caused by the fact that some players are going to start voluntarily ending their careers earlier than usual in order to minimize the number of collisions they put their bodies through. Take Keyshawn Johnson for instance. He played 11 seasons and remained relatively healthy throughout. Although he was still extremely productive in his 11^th season, he decided to count his blessings for his good health and move on with his life.

Like it or not the NFL has to change. The change has already begun with the new rules changes that are aimed at reducing the number of headshots that players take over the course of a game, and the force with which defensive players can tackle. Many people see this as making the game soft. I whole-heartedly agree with them. However, we as fans have two options. We can either embrace the kinder, gentler NFL or we can simply stop watching. The NFL has no choice in the matter because the lawsuits that they are facing from retired players are getting big enough to financially cripple the league if successful.

The NFL as we know it is about to change. The sport is simply too dangerous. The question facing Commissioner Goodell and the league’s owners is, will anyone watch?   

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WEDNESDAY

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Those who read this blog each week have come to expect my take on the current events that are happening in the world of sports (along with some bold predictions which, more often than not, turn out to be accurate). To provide you this rousing entertainment I not only keep up with the sports news, but I am also constantly coming up with ideas that I feel will make an interesting blog topic. Once I get one of these ideas, it is documented and cataloged accordingly. When nothing interesting happens during the week, I then retrieve said topics from the aforementioned catalog and begin to write the week’s entry. For instance, the recent blog entries entitled “The Anti-All-Star Team” and   “No Respect!” both came from the catalog. Coming into this week I knew a couple of interesting things could happen, but I was also prepared to go to the stacks and pull one of the more interesting topics out for my blog entry. I had that topic picked out and had actually started constructing a mental rough draft. That was Tuesday. Then the calendar turned to Wednesday, March 21^st. suddenly, the week got extremely interesting.

On Tuesday, March 20^th Peyton Manning chose to take his talents to the Rocky Mountains. He chose Denver over San Francisco and Tennessee. This wasn’t a huge surprise because most of the reports about his potential landing spot mentioned that his heart was in Denver. (Thus, this event alone would not have made a very interesting blog topic.) Peyton really didn’t want to play in the NFC, and he wanted to play with an organization that would throw out their offensive playbook and let him bring his own. Those preferences were strong indicators that Denver would be his landing spot. For about 24 hours the fact that Manning chose the Broncos was the hottest topic of discussion in the sports world. When I heard the announcement my first question was, “Where are they sending Tim Tebow?”

Anyone who knows anything about Peyton Manning knows that he is not a big fan of distractions. He is a creature of habit that needs things to be a certain way in order for him to function. His life is all about football, and he really has little use for anything else. In Denver, that “anything else” would come in the form of crazed Tim Tebow fanatics. Tim Tebow fans love him for reasons that have absolutely nothing to do with football. That being said, there would be a faction of them that would be there to heckle Manning and call for Tebow at home games. They would also be stupid enough to call into Denver talk radio and state idiotic reasons why Tim Tebow is better than Peyton Manning. Then there will be the billboards and websites calling for the benching of arguably the best quarterback to ever play in the NFL in favor of a bad passer who still can’t read a Cover 2 Defense. Needless to say, Manning wasn’t going for that. Therefore, I wouldn’t be surprised if the following conversation happened between Manning and Vice President of Football Operations, John Elway:

Manning: I’d love to come here John, but there is no way that I’m dealing with those crazed followers of the Church of Tebow.

Elway: Go ahead and hop on a plane, he’ll be gone by the time you get here.

Manning: On my way.

Elway: Yes! (heard in the background talking to his assistant) Get Tim’s agent on the phone.

Conventional wisdom said that Tebow would be traded to the Jacksonville Jaguars. They have a terrible quarterback in Blaine Gabbert (he’s not rookie-qb bad, he’s can’t play in the NFL bad), and a stadium that they have given up trying to sell out. However, conventional wisdom was wrong in this situation. As we all now know, Tebow won’t be heading to his hometown to fill the stadium with people desperate to see him set the quarterback position back 40 years. Instead, he is going to the New York Jets to make Mark Sanchez’s already miserable existence even worse. Nothing says, "we don’t have any faith in the abilities of our quarterback" like bringing in Tim Tebow and saying that you will be developing a package of plays to get him on the field. This trade proves that Mark Sanchez’s new “contract extension” is in reality about as valuable as the paper it was written on. Anyone who follows the NFL knows that the contracts are never as valuable as reported, and this one proves that the Jets were only publicly supporting Sanchez for the sake of his confidence, not making a real commitment to him for the future.

As regular readers of this blog know, I think that Tim Tebow is the worst quarterback to ever take a snap in the NFL (yes, I am old enough to remember Akili Smith, Cade McNown, and Joey Harrington). However, I will say (I can’t believe I’m about to say this) that I would rather have him over Mark Sanchez.  After watching the Broncos-Jets game last season, I came away convinced of two things. I had just witnessed the worst display of offensive football to take place in my lifetime, and that Tim Tebow is a better football player than Mark Sanchez. Although I would NEVER want either of them on my team, if I HAD to choose, I would rather have the quarterback that will play terribly for 3-1/2 quarters and then make one big play late in the fourth to win the game (if my defense can keep it close), than have a quarterback that will just play horribly for four quarters and never give me a chance to win.

Mark Sanchez’s days with the Jets are numbered. He will enter the season as the starter, but once he has his first three interception game the “We Want Tebow” chants will start, and Jets fans will start Tebowing in the crowd. This pressure will definitely make such a weak-minded individual fold.  This will lead to him playing even worse, and eventually he will be benched. This situation is similar to the one that the Eagles had when they traded Donovan McNabb. Publicly the team stated that Kevin Kolb would be the starting quarterback, but privately, they were just waiting for Kolb to give them a reason to replace him with Michael Vick.

To the executives at HBO, I will gladly pay double for my HBO service if you do a second installment of Hard Knocks from the Jets training camp. If this happens we will get to witness Tim Tebow’s ears bleeding every time Rex Ryan speaks, Santonio Holmes having an emotional breakdown because neither quarterback on the roster can complete a pass to him, and members of the Jets defense constantly complaining because they know that giving up more than 10 points in a game will certainly lead to a loss. The official title should be, Hard Knocks: The Jets Training Camp part 2 – The Season is Over Before it Begins. (Note to HBO: please write the check to Straight Cash Homey if you use that title.) Although distractions and controversy will ensure that the Jets have a horrible season this year, they will still be entertaining as hell to watch.

And now on to the New Orleans Saints (you knew it was coming)….

The Tebow trade wasn’t the only big news from Wednesday. There was also the announcement of the punishment of the New Orleans Saints for their bounty program.

One second, before I finish writing this I am going to send a tweet to Commissioner Goodell (@nflcommish) to see how his hand is holding up after he PIMPED SLAPPED the New Orleans Saints. My tweet to him reads:

@nflcommish after pimp-slapping the #saints organization, how’s the hand holding up? I hope you used lots of ice.

I will let you know if he actually responds in my next blog post.

You know they say, “There are only two things guaranteed in life, death and taxes.”  Well, I’d like to add a third thing to that list. Lying to Roger Goodell will have severe consequences. If you don’t believe me, ask Michael Vick. On the surface, It appears that Goodell came down on the Saints awfully hard for their illegal bounty program. The penalties include:

- A one year suspension for Head Coach Sean Payton

- An indefinite suspension for former Defensive Coordinator Gregg Williams

- An 8-game suspension and $500,000 fine for General Manager Mickey Loomis

- A $500,000 fine for the organization

- The loss of their 2^nd round draft picks in the 2012 & 2013 draft.

In actuality, the biggest crime that the Saints committed was not the bounty program itself, but lying about it. Prior to the investigation that lead to this penalty, the NFL told the Saints that they had heard allegations of a bounty program. They also told the Saints that if the allegations were true, the team should end the program immediately. The NFL also let them know that they would be investigating the issue. At that point, most normal people would end the program. Apparently the Saints felt as though they could continue the practice and cover it up so that the league would not find out about it. Needless to say, they were incorrect. Thus they had to feel the backside of the Commissioner’s right hand.

As I stated in a previous entry, I am not naive enough to believe that the Saints were the only team to have bounties on opposing players. However, the Saints were the only team stupid enough to continue the program while being investigated by the league. Football is an extremely dangerous sport. It isn’t a contact sport, it’s a collision sport. Due to the amount of violence in the game, each player should thank the diety that they pray to after every play, simply for surviving. The game is dangerous enough when being played within the rules, but Gregg Williams decided to make the game even more dangerous by giving his players incentives to intentionally hurt opposing players by any means necessary. The highest level that Williams reached as a football player was Division II Northeast Missouri State University (we all know that all multi-direction state universities suck at sports). Needless to say, Williams never played in the NFL, which is why I am not surprised that he has such disrespect for the integrity of the game. He has never felt the violence of an NFL game first hand. If he had, I doubt he would be providing incentives to intentionally hurt opposing players. Also worth noting is the fact that Sean Payton, who let this happen on his watch, was a replacement player during the 1987 NFL player strike. In short, he never had the talent to play in the NFL, but jumped at the chance to play in the place of the players that he was not good enough to compete with. This shows that he, along with Williams never had the proper respect for the health and safety of the elite athlete’s that neither of them were good enough to be.

While listening to NFL radio this week, one thing was extremely clear. Saints fans HATE Roger Goodell for what “he did to their team.” I am in no way a Goodell supporter, as a matter of fact, I like him about as much as I like those clowns that run the NCAA. That being said, Saints fans have it wrong on this one. Gregg Williams, Sean Payton, and Mickey Loomis did this to the Saints, not Goodell. The commissioner even gave them an opportunity to clean up their act. They chose not to, so he chose to put the smack down. Saints fans must realize that this decision was not about football. As one of my friends and loyal reader of this blog mentioned to me this week, “Everything Goodell is currently doing is to set up the league’s defense to the huge lawsuits that are coming from former players.” He is correct (I love having smart friends). This punishment was not about the Saints, it was about public perception and the financial future of the NFL. Someone had to be the example, and the people that run the New Orleans Saints practically raised their hands and volunteered.

To add insult to injury, next year’s Super Bowl will be played in New Orleans. Thanks to the penalties brought forth by the bounty program. I am virtually certain that the Saints will not be the first team to play in the Super Bowl in their home stadium. This punishment of the Saints is basically the same as a kid being on punishment for his 7^th birthday, but his parents decide to still have the party, which the kid isn’t able to attend. While the party is going on, he is up in his room listening to his friends enjoy his cake and his presents. A party will be going on in New Orleans next February, it’s just too bad the Saints won’t be invited.

Although the organization has been hit hard, we must keep in mind that they players involved in the bounty program have not been punished, yet. I expect the punishment to be severe. Apparently the Saints do as well. This weekend they signed middle-linebacker Curtis Lofton (formerly of the Falcons). Your initial thought may be that this was a bad signing because the Saints already have Jonathan Vilma (who was the primary player linked to the bounties). I have a feeling that after the player discipline is announced, we will be saying the Saints HAD Jonathan Vilma.

And now for my Baller & Scrub of the Week….

BALLER – Jeff Teague: In a battle between my hometown NBA team (Hawks) and my favorite NBA team (Celtics), Jeff Teague decided to POSTERIZE Jesus Shuttlesworth (a.k.a. Ray Allen). Dunks like this, especially from a point guard, earns you Baller of the Week status (please see video below). Later in that same game, with the Hawks down three and only seven seconds to play, Teague put up an air ball on the potentially game winning shot. The Hawks lost the game, but that doesn’t take away from Teague’s dunk. Although this may be a bittersweet honor for Teague, it’s still an honor.

SCRUB – Mark Sanchez: Relax Mark, you didn’t do anything to earn Scrub of the Week honors this week. I am just practicing for the season. I have a feeling your name will be in this spot a lot this season.


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WHAT A WEEK!

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WOW! This has been one exciting week for sports fans. We were able to witness the perfect storm. This week brought us the beginning of NFL free agency, the NBA trade deadline, and the start of the NCAA tournament. Each of these events is a story within itself and have dominated the headlines on ESPN and the various sports websites, but having them all occur at once really provided those who love and follow sports as I do, with information overload and an overall awesome week. Some of the things that occurred this week were totally expected, but some were serious head-scratchers. If you know me and this blog, I am going to talk about the head scratchers, the things that make you go HMMMM! (shout-out to those old enough to remember Arsenio Hall). There were plenty of them. Let’s discuss, shall we:

The Tim Tebow’s Throwback Jersey: As I walked out of my office today, I received a text message from a friend with something that he read on twitter. It read, “Tim Tebow’s Broncos jersey is now a throwback.” I found that to be hilarious. It’s funny, because it’s true. Now that John Elway has finally convinced a real quarterback who can read a defense and throw the forward pass to come to the mile high city, Tim Tebow is expendable (personally, I thought he was expendable on draft day). Tebow is now officially on the trading block and will probably end up with Miami or Jacksonville, two teams that desperately need to sell tickets. Neither team will be any good this year regardless, so as they say in the NFL, it’s better to be terrible in front of a sellout crowd than to be terrible with no one watching.

Mario Williams to the Buffalo Bills: Prior to last season, I adopted the Buffalo Bills as my favorite NFL team (I had to pick a new team since I knew the Peyton-less Colts were going nowhere fast). Many of my friends thought that I was crazy, but I looked at that roster and knew that they could surprise everyone and take the league by storm. In the end they only ended up taking the league by scattered showers, but they did make me look like a genius for the first half of the season. I am not a bandwagon fan, so I am sticking with MY Bills for this season also. I fully expect them to win the AFC East, and I am saying that with even more confidence since they landed Mario Williams. That’s right, a young, rich, black professional athlete has chosen to play for a team located in Buffalo, New York. I have heard from some people who feel as though he is going to Buffalo only for the STRAIGHT CASH HOMEY!  I disagree with that sentiment because his market was going to be approximately $50 million guaranteed no matter where he went. I think Mario sees what I see in Buffalo. A team that has a legit number one receiver (Stevie Johnson), a stud running back (Fred Jackson), a rising star at quarterback (Ryan Fitzpatrick), and a strong defensive line that he will be able to add to (featuring Marcell Dareus and Kyle Williams). Buffalo also plays a 4-3 defense that suits Williams’ skill set and body type much better than the Texans’ recently implemented 3-4 defense. Although they are a part of the game, injuries derailed the Bills playoff chances last season. With the re-signing of Stevie Johnson and the acquisition of the best defensive free agent since Julius Peppers, I am expecting big things from MY Bills this season. When Williams was drafted ahead of Reggie Bush in 2006 many laughed and thought that Houston had blown it (I am included in that group), but Williams has shown that he was indeed the right pick. Too bad they won’t get to reap the benefits of having him during his prime. GO BILLS!

Brandon Marshall is a Bear: I know that he is somewhat of a head case, and I also know that he is always prone to making headlines off the field. However, in case you haven’t noticed BRANDON MARSHALL IS REALLY GOOD!  In his five years as a starter, Brandon Marshall has averaged 95 catches, 1,188 yards, and 6 touchdowns. You simply don’t give that away for two 3^rd round draft picks. This is the NFL, not the Boy’s Scouts. On-field production trumps everything in this league as long as you don’t kill the chemistry of every team that you play for (yeah, I’m talking to you T.O).  Lawrence Taylor & Michael Irvin snorted more snow than Buffalo residents shoveled this winter, and they were never traded.  As a matter of fact, Irvin only had one season where he had more catches than Marshall has averaged over his last five seasons. The Rams never traded Leonard Little, and we all know that he did the unthinkable. In a passing dominated league where choir boys are few and far between, you can’t practically give away a legit number one receiver. 

Dwight Howard is traded to NOWHERE!: To quote Shakespeare, the Dwight Howard trade discussion was “much ado about nothing." (Yes, I just quoted Shakespeare in a sports blog) At various points of the season, it was rumored that Howard would be traded to the Nets, Rockets, Lakers, Knicks, Bulls, and Warriors. Then Howard stated that he didn’t want to leave Orlando after all. Then he decided that he did want to leave. Then he decided that he wanted to stay again. Then the Magic owner offered to let him decide the fate of the general manager and head coach if he stayed. Then he decided that he wanted to finish the season in Orlando and be a free-agent this summer (which is understandable because a trade would gut any team that he is traded to). Then Orlando demanded that he waive the right to opt-out of his contract if he wants to stay. Then he decided that he did not want to offer any guarantees. Then he decided not to opt out of his contract, and play out the full contract, which ends after next season. To make a long story short, we will have to go through all of this again this summer and possibly throughout next season. The only people who are happy about this are ESPN and NBA TV, because they just got a lot of programming hours placed in their laps (prepare yourself for “The Decision—The Sequel”).

Rajon Rondo is still a Celtic: The Celtics elected to keep their team together for the remainder of the season. They had unrealistic expectations of the value that Garnett, Allen, or Pierce would return in a trade, and they couldn’t fleece another organization in exchange for Rondo, like the Lakers did Memphis to get Pau Gasol. Oh well, I guess my boy Rondo will play out the rest of the season with the AARP all-stars and go into next season with a fresh round of trade rumors. This off-season, he should demand a trade and put an end to this constant state of limbo that the Celtics front office seem to always have him in.

Pau Gasol is still a Laker: This one is funny because Gasol was actually traded before the season started, but Commissioner Stern pulled the plug on it. The Lakers have also been openly shopping him for everyone in the league that is under 28 years old. Yet, they were unable to move him at the deadline. These distractions have definitely affected his play this season. Much like Rondo, everyone expected him to be moved (possibly in exchange for Rondo), yet he is still a Laker.

Dook Bounced from NCAA Tournament: As a Kentucky basketball fan, I am required to follow Rule #37 in the “Kentucky Fan Rule Book.” This rule states that you must always hate Dook. You must root against them against all other opponents and rejoice every time they lose (Rule #19 states that you must always refer to them as Dook instead of Duke).  Therefore I was just as happy when Dook lost to the 15^th seeded Lehigh, as I was when Kentucky beat Iowa State to advance to the Sweet 16.

Missouri Ruined My Final Four: As I stated last week, I felt as though The Final Four would end up being Kentucky, North Carolina, Syracuse, and Missouri. Well, the good people at Norfolk State University obviously didn’t agree with my prediction. They went ahead and bounced Missouri from the tournament and (along with Lehigh) screwed up everyone’s bracket. The fact that a pair of 15^th seeds beat #2 seeds in the same day is a sign. Although it has yet to happen, the day is coming when a #16 seed is going to beat a #1 seed. I just hope that your favorite team isn’t the victim.                            

And now for my Ballers & Scrubs of the Week….

BALLER #1 – Peyton Manning: Its official, Peyton Manning is the powerful man to walk the earth since Joe Clark (those who have seen the movie “Lean on Me” will get that one).  He single-handedly put every quarterback in the league on notice that he could have their job if he wanted it. He chose Denver, which hopefully will make the Tim Tebow story disappear as quickly as the Jeremy Lin story did. The other finalists were Tennessee and San Francisco, but that’s not the point. The point is that he held every quarterback in the league and every team’s salary cap space hostage until he made HIS decision! A power move like that earns you Baller of the Week status.

BALLER #2 – C.J. McCollum: Let me guess, you’ve never heard of C.J, McCullom. Well, neither had I until he dropped 30 on Dook on Friday night. He is not only Lehigh’s best player, but he was the best player on the floor on Friday night. I don’t know much about Mr. McCullom, but based on the fact that he plays his college ball in a brown uniform for Lehigh, I’m going to guess that the traditional powers (Kentucky, Dook UNC, Kansas, etc.) weren’t exactly knocking down his door to convince him to come to their school. I think it’s safe to say that this is an underrated recruit that got away. He is the two-time Patriot League player of the year, and the guy who is most responsible for the tears of embarrassment that flowed in the Dook locker room on Friday night. For that, I am making him an honorary Kentucky Wildcat. I’m a big fan of anyone who can make Dook players cry.

SCRUB #1 – Jim Harbaugh (49ers Coach), Bud Adams (Titans Owner), Ken Whisenhunt (Cardinals Coach):  Personally, I don’t blame you for openly professing your love for Peyton Manning and your desire to sign him even at the expense of the quarterback(s) currently on your roster. However, now that you have basically called your current quarterbacks scrubs in the national media and members of your teams have been gushing about the possibility of playing with Peyton on ESPN and on twitter, you must now try to profess your love to the quarterbacks that you were previously ready to dump. They now feel like your back up plan, and no guy ever really wants to marry their back up plan.  However, you must now try to make them feel special again. Good Luck with that!

SCRUB #2 – NFL Ownership: I’ve always felt that this is a shady bunch of individuals that are not to be trusted. This thought was re-affirmed when Roger Goodell (their hired goon) announced that the Dallas Cowboys and Washington Redskins would be docked salary cap space for, get this, OVER SPENDING IN AN UNCAPPED YEAR! The obvious question here is, “How can a team spend too much money in a year when there was no salary cap?” This was an obvious attempt of collusion of the owners against the players. Although there was no salary cap, the owners made an un-gentlemanly and ILLEGAL agreement amongst each other to not spend more than a certain amount on player salaries for that year. Needless to say, two of the most hated owners decided not to join their fellow owners in the sneaky undertaking. Now the other owners are trying to retaliate. Well, here’s the problem with that. Jerry Jones and Daniel Snyder live by their own rules and will not let the other owners bully them. Needless to say, a law-suit is coming, and I fully expect the Cowboys & Redskins to be victorious.

Follow me on twitter @scashhomey

THERE’S ALWAYS SPORTS RADIO

After my customary break to focus on finishing up the semester strongly (I got two A’s this semester and I am only five classes away from my MBA), I AM BACK!!!! So sit back and enjoy, because I want to discuss a topic that at one point or another has entered the minds of all football fans (NFL and NCAA). That topic is the future of myth and legend that is known as Tim Tebow.

Florida fans and the television powers that be (primarily ESPN & CBS) have had a huge football love affair with this kid since the day he stepped on campus. As a freshman, he was nothing more than a backup fullback (wearing a quarterback’s number) who attempted all of 33 passes that season. Yet for some inexplicable reason, he received more attention than Chris Leak who was Florida’s senior starting quarterback. You may remember him; he was the guy that actually led Florida to the national championship that season. Yet, when mentioning Tebow everyone always says that he won two national championships. I find that to be a bit disingenuous. While Tebow definitely won the National Championship in 2008, saying that he won it 2006 is like saying that Drew Bledsoe won the 2002 Super Bowl for New England, or that Byron Leftwich won the Super Bowl last season. Chris Leak did a lot for that program, and I just hope that when they celebrate the 10-year anniversary of that championship, that they at least invite him to be a part of the festivities.

I also found it quite nauseating that CBS interviewed him on the field immediately after Florida’s SEC Championship Game loss to Alabama. Now, I have watched a lot of college sports in my day, and I can’t recall any other instance where a losing player was interviewed on the field after a game. That usually happens outside of a somber locker room, or in the pressroom, but never on the field. That was Alabama’s moment, and CBS should not have let their obvious love affair with Tebow cast any shadow over Alabama’s celebration. As a matter of fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if CBS tries to pressure AFC teams into drafting him so that they can cover his sure to be brief NFL career.

Although I have been absolutely annoyed by the media coverage that Tebow receives, and equally annoyed by his carefully crafted image (more on that later), I will admit one thing: THIS KID WAS A GREAT COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYER! While it is true, that he has had the great fortune of playing on some phenomenal teams at Florida (a school that doesn’t have to recruit, they simply pick who they want), he has made his share of big plays to lead them to victories. His skill set is perfectly suited for the college football game, but not the NFL. He has proven that he can complete passes to receivers who are open by five yards. This happens a lot at Florida because their receivers are simply better than most secondary’s that they line up against. However, in the NFL if a receiver is consistently open by five yards, a defensive back will lose his job. Open in the NFL is basically having your inside shoulder inside of the defender’s inside shoulder. Tebow doesn’t have the arm or accuracy to consistently complete that pass. In college, he also proved to be a tough runner who can simply run through most defenders. If he tries to do that in the NFL, he will quickly be given Google Map directions to a place called injured reserve. Simply put, try that in the NFL and Ray Lewis will break you in half. Trying to run by NFL defenders is also not an option, unless you have the speed of Michael Vick or Vince Young (which Tebow does not). He will quickly learn that the majority of NFL defensive ends are much bigger, faster, and stronger than him. The bottom line is that Tebow is a quarterback with an average arm (can throw far with a lot of air under the ball, but can’t really throw the ball on a rope), who does not possess the skills to be a pocket passer in the NFL. He also isn’t fast enough to be a run/pass threat like Michael Vick, Steve Young, Vince Young, or Randall Cunningham.

I think that I have made it pretty clear that I don’t think that Tim Tebow can play quarterback in the NFL. However, I do feel that there is a place for him in the league. I think he could play an H-back position (sort of a fullback/tight end hybrid), and maybe hold for kicks. Now that I think of it he could possibly excel at being the personal protector for the punter on the punt coverage unit. But quarterback? NOT A CHANCE!

To me, Tim Tebow comes across as a carefully crafted political figure. I just get the vibe that his handlers are already preparing him for a career in politics. He acts like he grew up next door to the Cleavers and is the most wide-eyed and innocent person in college football. There have even been stories of him spending his spring break in third-world countries performing surgical procedures on children. He even writes bible verse, which some people can alter or interpret to be game results (please see picture below).

Is there not a more perfectly crafted image of a wholesome, All-American boy? I’m not buying it. It all seems fake and phony to me. My only advice to him is if you are going to say one thing and portray one thing, you had better live it. There have been several high-profile instances of the exact opposite happening. You don’t want to become one of them.

The bottom line is this. If NFL teams are smart, he will not be drafted before the third round. At that point, the financial commitment will not be devastating if he doesn't pan out. The team that drafts him should immediately make him their H-back. He should have a decent career there. But we all know that's not going to happen. Some team will be stupid enough draft him in the first or second round to play quarterback (it has happened before with less accomplished college quarterbacks). Their thinking is that it will do wonders for their image. They will then learn the hard way that Tim Tebow does not have the ability to play quarterback in the NFL. He will certainly work hard and give it the old “college” try, but after three seasons of sitting on the bench or failing miserably on the field (depending on how stupid the coach is), Tim Tebow will begin his second career which is indeed his true calling. He will be a sports-radio host in Gainesville Florida, where he will always be considered a god. Hey, it worked for Buck Belue.

AND NOW FOR MY BALLER & SCRUB OF THE WEEK:

BALLER: John Wall (PG University of Kentucky) – He is simply the best player in college basketball. Over the past week, he has led Kentucky to victories over North Carolina, Connecticut, and Indiana. This kid is amazing. If you haven’t seen him play yet, make some time and check him out. He is definitely worth it. However, if you want to see him in college you had better hurry up because he will only be there one season. I hope his one season in Lexington leads to a National Championship.

BALLER: Mark Ingram (RB University of Alabama) – Although I am not an Alabama fan, Mark Ingram is by far my favorite college football player. He plays the game the way it should be played. He is a hard runner that can run by defenders, but would much rather run through them. I also have never seen him run out of bounds to avoid contact. He’s so tough that he makes you forget that Shaun Alexander (softest NFL RB in recent history) once played for Bama. Ingram definitely deserved to win the Heisman. Congratulations!

SCRUB: Tiger Woods (Professional Golfer) – I know that he isn’t the first person or high-profile athlete to cheat on his wife, but he is the latest to learn that eventually the mistresses will come out and say something. While I am disappointed in him for his “transgressions” as he likes to call them, I am not surprised. I mean, he was a filthy rich man who married a trophy wife. Did anyone really think that there was real love and respect there? Unfortunately, this type of thing happens all the time. He is a famous and wealthy guy who thinks that all of these women want him for his looks and charisma. I find that funny because to me he simply seems to be a corny dude who happens to be great at golf (which has made him extremely wealthy). He is waaayyyy to lame to think that he could pull off this lifestyle long-term. He had to know that eventually he would get caught. If not, shame on him.

SCRUB: Tim Tebow (QB University of Florida) – After your team got slaughtered by Alabama, you were on the sidelines crying like a little girl that didn’t get the bike she wanted for Christmas. I just want to know if you were crying because you lost the game, or because you realized that your athletic career would be all down-hill from there? Either way it goes, save it for the locker room. The man, the myth, and the legend that is Tim Tebow should not be seen crying after losing a game.