Follow me on twitter @scashhomey
For my money, NFL players are the most insane athletes in all of sports. They play a sport which puts their body through the equivalent of several car accidents on a weekly basis. These players endure concussions, broken bones, torn ligaments, dislocated extremities, and an assortment of various sprains, bumps, and bruises to provide entertainment for people like me and you. (This next statement is extremely hypocritical, but it’s my honest opinion). Football is the dumbest sport ever created. Sometimes while watching a game, I ask myself, “What type of sick individual came up with this sport?” I really wonder who was sitting home one day and decided to place people on two different teams and give them a funny shaped ball (which isn’t nearly as cool as the big red all-purpose ball from elementary school) and tell one team to try to get to a goal and tell the other team to prevent them from getting there by any means necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I love this sport (particularly the NFL) much more than any other sport, and I am forever grateful to the players that play it for providing me with 21 weeks of the best entertainment in the world each and every year. That being said, I think each and every one of them are clinically insane for playing a sport that will undoubtedly affect their quality of life at some point.
Players arrive at training camp each summer with two things on their mind. Number one is money. Every NFL player is always trying to get a new contract, justify their current contract, or rob their team blind by getting paid as much as possible for producing absolutely nothing (shoutout to JaMarcus Russell). Once they are done thinking about their current or future financial situation, their attention moves to the second thing on their mind, trying to win a championship. All 32 teams begin training camp focused on being one of the 12 remaining at the end of the season that earns the opportunity to compete in the playoffs for a trip to the Super Bowl. Players on the 20 non-playoff teams try their best to cope with the fact that they simply weren’t good enough.
The top four playoff teams all have a bye, which lets them rest up for a week before hosting the winners of this week’s wild card games. Who will win this week’s games? I’m glad you asked, because I now present to you, my picks for all four of this weekend’s games.
Bengals vs. Texans
For the first time in franchise history, the Houston Texans will be playing a playoff game. Also for the first time in franchise history, the Houston Texans will lose a playoff game. If Matt Schaub were healthy and playing in this game, I would pick the Texans in a rout. If I had any confidence in Andre Johnsons hamstring that forced him to sit out nine games this season, I would pick the Texans in a close game. However, Matt Schaub is out and no one knows if Johnson will be able to finish the game. The Texans will be starting rookie TJ Yates, and his back-up will be everyone’s favorite interception machine, Jake Delhomme. The Texans will still be able to run the ball relatively well, but I feel as though the Bengals simply have the better team. This will be a low scoring game because both teams have really good defenses and will be starting rookie quarterbacks. Cincinnati has the better of the two rookie QB’s in Andy Dalton. He also has AJ Greene (the skinny Andre Johnson) to throw to, which means that they will have the ability to make the big play when it is needed in the fourth quarter. Cedric Benson, the most consistently mediocre running back in the NFL, will have his typical 84 yard rushing day with no touchdowns.
Prediction: Bengals 17 – Texans 13
Falcons vs. Giants
These are two very evenly matched teams. This should be a very good football game, with the outcome decided late. I really feel bad for both Eli Manning and Matt Ryan in this game, because they both play behind somewhat suspect offensive lines, and will be facing ferocious pass rushers in John Abraham (Falcons), Justin Tuck (Giants), and Jason Pierre-Paul (Giants). Fortunately for the Falcons they have a strong running back in Michael Turner. Unfortunately for the Falcons, their offensive coordinator (Mike Mularkey) often forgets that Michael Turner is a member of the team. They simply don’t run the ball enough, and I fully expect that trend to continue on Sunday. If this game were being played in Atlanta, I would definitely pick the Falcons. However, this game will take place in New York, which means one thing. Matt Ryan will play like crap. Ryan has lost 19 games in his four years as the QB of the Falcons. Of those 19 losses, 15 of them have been on the road. He simply can’t be trusted outside of 285. Since this game is taking place waaaaaaaaaaay outside of 285, and I simply don’t trust the Falcons offensive line against the Giants defensive, I will be taking the Giants to win this game.
Prediction: Giants 28 – Falcons 24
Steelers vs. Broncos
The fact that the Denver Broncos will be playing against a ferocious defense with a quarterback who is yet to master the forward pass will be a big problem. That is all that is necessary to say about this game.
Prediction: Steelers 24 – Broncos 9
Lions vs. Saints
I intentionally saved this game for last for two reasons. First of all, this is the GAME OF THE WEEK! This game will have offensive stars all over the field. On one side you have Drew Brees who is at the top of his game. His receivers aren’t household names to the casual football fan, but they don’t have to be because his passes are so accurate that they can’t avoid catching it. Even when he misses, he doesn’t miss. His passing skills are the polar opposite of the quarterback that I didn’t mention in the previous paragraph. On the opposite sideline, you will find Matthew Stafford, who threw for over 5,000 yards and 41 touchdowns this season. While Brees spreads the ball around and throws to whoever happens to be open on a particular play, Stafford has been blessed with a receiver that he can throw to whether he is open or not. He goes by the name of Calvin Johnson, a.k.a. The Best Receiver in the League. If you like, you can also start calling him by his newest nickname which he will begin answering to at some point during this off-season when he gets a new contract. That would be Really Rich Black Man. These are two prolific offenses that can and will score on anybody. Therefore, this game will be decided by the defenses. Don’t get me wrong, both teams will score at least 30 and quite possibly 40 points, but one defense will make just enough plays to force the other team to punt more than once, which will be the difference in this game. That being said, the second reason that I chose to discuss this game last is because, it is my UPSET SPECIAL! Detroit has a ferocious pass-rush, and a defense that has a knack for creating turnovers. Therefore, I have more faith in them to make a big play than I do the Saints defense. This will be a high-scoring game that will be fun to watch. I fully expect both defenses to play relatively well, but the offenses are simply better than the defenses in this matchup. This game is scheduled for an 8:20 pm kickoff on Saturday night. Since both teams will throw the ball at least 40 times, and there will be a lot of scoring, expect this game to run to around midnight. Make sure you have plenty of Yuengling (root beer for all of the underage people reading this) is in the fridge, and sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
Prediction: Lions 41 – Saints 35
LSU vs. Alabama
You are probably saying to yourself, “This is a college game, why is it included in the blog about the NFL playoffs?” That would be a good question to ask, if this was actually a college football game. This is actually a NFL game; the players simply aren’t old enough for it to be official. Therefore, they will be representing academic institutions instead. As you all know, I am not a big college football fan. I mostly just watch to see future NFL prospects, which I mostly do through watching clips online so that I won’t have to sit through entire games. Much like the first time they met earlier this season, I will be glued to the television to see this extremely high level of defensive football (which I love) played by clearly the two best college teams in the nation. I look for this to be yet another slug-fest that will be won by the team that scores a non-offensive touchdown. Points will be at a premium in this game, and both teams will certainly play it close to the vest offensively and let it all hang out on the defensive side of the ball. I am convinced that Les Miles has the great Nick Satan (sorry, I meant Saban, I said I was going to stop calling him that) shook. The last time they met, Satan (oops!) sent out both of Alabama’s kickers to attempt a total of three field goals of more than 40 yards. Note to Saban (I got it that time), the vast majority of college kickers are not consistently capable of making field goals longer than 35 yards. The two or three that can, are usually the two are three that get drafted into the NFL each year. Also after watching the first game against LSU, it is clear that you don’t have one of those two or three special kickers. LSU on the other hand, does have one of those special kickers.
The last time they met, LSU used two quarterbacks. They tried to do the politically correct thing and “punish” their real starting quarterback for his participation in an off-season bar fight, by starting his backup. The backup was good enough to have them undefeated leading up to the Bama game, but was clearly overmatched by the Ravens, I mean Crimson Tide defense. Therefore they decided that it’s not a good idea to punish a good player when a game is actually on the line. The fact that this game will decide the National Championship and undoubtedly lead to an even bigger contract for the winning coach, means that the choir boys will be left on the sidelines, and that all previous off-field transgressions will be ignored. Although both teams have really good offenses (against all other opponents), the defenses will again decide the winner of this game. LSU’s defense is simply better. Although Alabama’s defense is statistically better, against a significantly weaker schedule, anyone who has seen these two teams play can clearly see that LSU’s defense is slightly better. That is why the Tigers will be victorious. The good thing for Crimson Tide fans is that Satan (I knew it wouldn’t last) will only attempt one stupid field goal. It will be on the last play of the game with a chance to send it to overtime. Once again, the kicker will miss from 42 yards out and give LSU the victory.
Prediction: LSU 17 – Alabama 14
And now for my Baller & Scrub of the Week….
BALLER – Charles Barkley’s K-12 English Teachers: This award only goes to his K-12 English teachers because I am pretty sure he didn’t go to class regularly at Auburn. Although they taught him very little, if anything at all, Barkley’s English teachers instilled in him a confidence that totally overrides the fact that he speaks on a third grade level. Don’t get me wrong, Barkley is extremely entertaining as a commentator, and I thoroughly enjoy his knowledge of the game, honesty, and comedic presence. However, I also acknowledge that approximately 60% of the things that come out of his mouth are either mispronounced or simply aren’t words. My favorite word to hear him say is athletic. Yes it seems like a basic word to me and you, but Barkley manages to add both an extra “a”, and an extra syllable. So ath-let-ic to me and you is equal to ath-a-let-ic in the mind of Barkley. Once again shoutout to his English teachers for giving him the confidence needed to make a living by speaking, when he can hardly speak the English language.
SCRUB – Greg McElroy: I could write an entire blog about this idiot. It would be titled, “Scrub Speaks: The Quickest Way Out of the NFL.” If you don’t follow Alabama football, live in the state of Alabama, or your last name is McElroy as well, there is a good chance that you have no idea who this guy is. Greg McElroy is the 4th string quarterback of the NY Jets, who was a seventh round draft pick last year, and spent all season on injured reserve. To sum it up, I bet if you asked every member of the Jets if they knew he was on the team, 75% would say NO! The bottom line is in the world of the NFL, he is a nobody. After the Jets season ended in a disastrous fashion, McElroy took it upon himself to channel his inner-Rex Ryan and run his mouth to the media. He appeared on a radio show and basically said (I am paraphrasing) that the Jets were a team full of selfish individuals, that didn’t care if they won or loss. He also said that the players didn’t care about the team and that they were out for themselves. He went on to say that he had never been around such selfish individuals.
I am not in that locker room, so I really can’t attest to the accuracy of McElroy’s comments. If I were a betting man (which I am not), I would bet that he was dead on. I totally believe everything that he said. The problem with his comments is that THEY WERE MADE BY GREG McELROY! He is a player that can be out of the league if Rex Ryan simply allows Darrelle Revis to have two lockers in the locker room instead of one. He does not matter, and chances are when the Jets cut him (which they certainly will) no other team will bother picking him up. He will then have enough free time to persue his true dream job, talking on the radio. He may even get his own show.
Michael Vick and Plaxico Burress can spend time in jail and still get signed by teams. Rashard Mendenhall can make idiotic statements about 9/11, and not get cut. Terrell Owens could curse out coaches, openly question the sexuality of a teammate, and destroy team chemistry at nearly every turn, and still have a roster spot (when he was healthy). Greg McElroy can be cut for buying Krispy Kreme doughnuts for his teammates when the light wasn’t on, so for airing out the team’s dirty laundry on a radio show, he definitely WILL be cut. WHAT AN IDIOT!
Follow me on twitter @scashhomey
Showing posts with label alabama. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alabama. Show all posts
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Hello strangers and welcome back to what will soon be the best sports blog on the World Wide Web. The fact that we have been strangers lately is all my fault. After an extended hiatus from writing, I am back and better than ever. My New Year’s Resolution is to be dedicated to bringing you my commentary on the ever-eventful world of sports and to make this blog a weekly must read for everyone (watch out MMQB, I’m coming for you.)
I could spend this time reflecting over the things that took place during our time apart, but that would be no fun. Instead, I am going to turn on the recent 2chainz mixtape (yeah, I’m just as shocked as you are that I think it’s dope) and look into the future to tell you what should/will happen in 2012 in the games that we all love.
THE MIAMI HEAT WILL WIN THE NBA CHAMPIONSHIP – All of the Heat/LeBron haters might as well get over themselves. This is the year that they start their string of championships. This is a short NBA season with lots of back to back to back games, so you can pretty much eliminate all of the older teams from contention (that means you Lakers, Celtics, Spurs, and Mavericks). Russell Westbrook and his desire for a better shoe contract and more TV airtime is determined to let his jealousy of Kevin Durant destroy the Thunder’s chances (more on that later). The Clippers and Knicks are both exciting and intriguing, however they are not quite ready yet. So that pretty much leaves Memphis in the west, and Miami in the east as the primary contenders. That being said, I would like to draw your attention back to my original statement in bold letters above.
RAJON RONDO SHOULD BE TRADED FOR RUSSELL WESTBROOK – This could quite possibly be the most fair trade in NBA history. It would benefit both teams as well as both players personally. Russell Westbrook is clearly jealous of Kevin Durant and is also angry that his mom continues to buy him the Robin costume on Halloween, while Durant gets to be Batman every single year. He would love to be on a team where he can truly be a poor man’s Derrick Rose. Westbrook would like nothing more than to be the first, second, and third option on some team, regardless of whether they are regular title contenders are not. Westbrook is the classic case of the athlete who readily acknowledges that while there is indeed no “I” in team, there is definitely a “ME”. Rondo on the other hand, is the classic team first point guard who enjoys getting assists, steals, and rebounds much more than he enjoys scoring. All he cares about is winning, and making his teammates look good. Rondo has been perfect for Boston while playing with Jesus Shuttlesworth, KG, and Pierce. However, that trinity is at the end of their line and it is now time for Boston to rebuild. They will definitely need more scoring in the coming years, which simply isn’t Rondo’s game. What they need is a combo-guard who happens to play the point and enjoys shooting more than he enjoys (I’ll let you fill in your own word/phrase here). That guy currently resides in Oklahoma City. In Boston, Westbrook will get to be the center-piece of a rebuilding team, where he would be able to put up 30 shots a night. While Rondo can go to the Thunder and be the perfect person to serve beautiful assists to Kevin Durant, James Harden, and Serge Ibaka. He will instantly turn them into the only team in the league that could actually compete with the HEAT. This is one case where trading “team first” for “me first” will actually benefit everyone.
PEYTON MANNING WILL BE A JET – I am that rare NFL fan with no real loyalty or allegiance to any team(s). However, I do have favorite players. My favorite NFL player is without a doubt Peyton Manning (he is the best to ever do it in my opinion). That being said, I have obviously been partial to the Colts during his tenure there. Although it pains me to see him move on to another franchise, I know in my heart of hearts that it is time for Peyton to move on. The Colts will draft Andrew Luck (if they land the first pick) or Robert Griffith III in April’s draft, which will mean that it is time for them to move on from Manning. With the new rookie pay-scale in place, the Colts will be able to have four years of service from one of these young guns for less than they would have to pay Peyton for one season. Manning will be 36 years old when next season starts and has had multiple neck surgeries. As a franchise, you simply can’t afford to keep him in this post-JaMarcus Russell era in the NFL (where top picks are much cheaper). That being said, look for the Rex Ryan and the Jets to pay Peyton whatever he wants to become a jet. Rex wouldn’t care if Cooper Manning wanted to play wide receiver, he’d give him a uniform if it meant Peyton was coming. There are some reading this now saying, “but they already have a quarterback in Mark Sanchez.” To those people I say SLAP YOURSELF! If you thought that Minnesota’s pursuit of Favre was bad, you just wait until Rex hears that Peyton Manning is available. Once Sanchez is cut, I fully expect he and his fellow Trojan bust Matt Leinart to do a Reality TV show. I don’t know what it will be about, but that seems to be what all of the washed up celebrities do these days.
MY HOMETOWN ATLANTA HAWKS WILL NOT WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP – I just couldn’t conclude this blog without this statement. The Hawks lost Jamal Crawford this off-season and brought in Tracy McGrady (which would have been awesome 8 years ago), Jerry Stackhouse, and Jenerro Pargo. That is all I have to say about that.
And now for my Baller & Scrub of the Week….
BALLER – Metta World Peace a.k.a The Baller Formerly Known As Ron Artest: I am not a Lakers fan by any stretch of the imagination and I hate Kobe Bryant more than Gucci Mane hates his freedom. That being said, I will be watching every Lakers game that comes on television just to hear the following phrases: “World Peace for Three!”, “Great Defense by World Peace”, “The Assist to World Peace”, “Stop Shooting so Damn Much Kobe and Give World Peace a Chance!”
SCRUB – The NCAA: There are 834 bowl games inundating my television this holiday season and only two matter. The Rose Bowl (nope, not because of tradition) because Oregon’s uniforms are going to be so damn cool, and the National Championship Game because LSU and Alabama are two teams that should be playing in the AFC South and not the SEC. I’ve said it once, and I will continue saying it until it is no longer true, THE NCAA SUCKS!!!!!!!
I could spend this time reflecting over the things that took place during our time apart, but that would be no fun. Instead, I am going to turn on the recent 2chainz mixtape (yeah, I’m just as shocked as you are that I think it’s dope) and look into the future to tell you what should/will happen in 2012 in the games that we all love.
THE MIAMI HEAT WILL WIN THE NBA CHAMPIONSHIP – All of the Heat/LeBron haters might as well get over themselves. This is the year that they start their string of championships. This is a short NBA season with lots of back to back to back games, so you can pretty much eliminate all of the older teams from contention (that means you Lakers, Celtics, Spurs, and Mavericks). Russell Westbrook and his desire for a better shoe contract and more TV airtime is determined to let his jealousy of Kevin Durant destroy the Thunder’s chances (more on that later). The Clippers and Knicks are both exciting and intriguing, however they are not quite ready yet. So that pretty much leaves Memphis in the west, and Miami in the east as the primary contenders. That being said, I would like to draw your attention back to my original statement in bold letters above.
RAJON RONDO SHOULD BE TRADED FOR RUSSELL WESTBROOK – This could quite possibly be the most fair trade in NBA history. It would benefit both teams as well as both players personally. Russell Westbrook is clearly jealous of Kevin Durant and is also angry that his mom continues to buy him the Robin costume on Halloween, while Durant gets to be Batman every single year. He would love to be on a team where he can truly be a poor man’s Derrick Rose. Westbrook would like nothing more than to be the first, second, and third option on some team, regardless of whether they are regular title contenders are not. Westbrook is the classic case of the athlete who readily acknowledges that while there is indeed no “I” in team, there is definitely a “ME”. Rondo on the other hand, is the classic team first point guard who enjoys getting assists, steals, and rebounds much more than he enjoys scoring. All he cares about is winning, and making his teammates look good. Rondo has been perfect for Boston while playing with Jesus Shuttlesworth, KG, and Pierce. However, that trinity is at the end of their line and it is now time for Boston to rebuild. They will definitely need more scoring in the coming years, which simply isn’t Rondo’s game. What they need is a combo-guard who happens to play the point and enjoys shooting more than he enjoys (I’ll let you fill in your own word/phrase here). That guy currently resides in Oklahoma City. In Boston, Westbrook will get to be the center-piece of a rebuilding team, where he would be able to put up 30 shots a night. While Rondo can go to the Thunder and be the perfect person to serve beautiful assists to Kevin Durant, James Harden, and Serge Ibaka. He will instantly turn them into the only team in the league that could actually compete with the HEAT. This is one case where trading “team first” for “me first” will actually benefit everyone.
PEYTON MANNING WILL BE A JET – I am that rare NFL fan with no real loyalty or allegiance to any team(s). However, I do have favorite players. My favorite NFL player is without a doubt Peyton Manning (he is the best to ever do it in my opinion). That being said, I have obviously been partial to the Colts during his tenure there. Although it pains me to see him move on to another franchise, I know in my heart of hearts that it is time for Peyton to move on. The Colts will draft Andrew Luck (if they land the first pick) or Robert Griffith III in April’s draft, which will mean that it is time for them to move on from Manning. With the new rookie pay-scale in place, the Colts will be able to have four years of service from one of these young guns for less than they would have to pay Peyton for one season. Manning will be 36 years old when next season starts and has had multiple neck surgeries. As a franchise, you simply can’t afford to keep him in this post-JaMarcus Russell era in the NFL (where top picks are much cheaper). That being said, look for the Rex Ryan and the Jets to pay Peyton whatever he wants to become a jet. Rex wouldn’t care if Cooper Manning wanted to play wide receiver, he’d give him a uniform if it meant Peyton was coming. There are some reading this now saying, “but they already have a quarterback in Mark Sanchez.” To those people I say SLAP YOURSELF! If you thought that Minnesota’s pursuit of Favre was bad, you just wait until Rex hears that Peyton Manning is available. Once Sanchez is cut, I fully expect he and his fellow Trojan bust Matt Leinart to do a Reality TV show. I don’t know what it will be about, but that seems to be what all of the washed up celebrities do these days.
MY HOMETOWN ATLANTA HAWKS WILL NOT WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP – I just couldn’t conclude this blog without this statement. The Hawks lost Jamal Crawford this off-season and brought in Tracy McGrady (which would have been awesome 8 years ago), Jerry Stackhouse, and Jenerro Pargo. That is all I have to say about that.
And now for my Baller & Scrub of the Week….
BALLER – Metta World Peace a.k.a The Baller Formerly Known As Ron Artest: I am not a Lakers fan by any stretch of the imagination and I hate Kobe Bryant more than Gucci Mane hates his freedom. That being said, I will be watching every Lakers game that comes on television just to hear the following phrases: “World Peace for Three!”, “Great Defense by World Peace”, “The Assist to World Peace”, “Stop Shooting so Damn Much Kobe and Give World Peace a Chance!”
SCRUB – The NCAA: There are 834 bowl games inundating my television this holiday season and only two matter. The Rose Bowl (nope, not because of tradition) because Oregon’s uniforms are going to be so damn cool, and the National Championship Game because LSU and Alabama are two teams that should be playing in the AFC South and not the SEC. I’ve said it once, and I will continue saying it until it is no longer true, THE NCAA SUCKS!!!!!!!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
PEOPLE ARE JUST DIFFERENT DOWN HERE
Everyone who follows college football knows that the Southeastern Conference is by far the strongest conference in the nation. It is home to such traditional powers as Alabama, LSU, and Florida. Even its second tier programs (Auburn, Georgia, Tennessee, and Arkansas) are traditionally stronger than most top programs in other conferences. Even though the quality of football is the strongest in the world outside of that Sunday afternoon league, one could argue that the SEC is more well know for the “passion” (and I use that term loosely) of its fans than the actual football being played on the field.
Being born and raised in the South, I realized early in my life that I was a minority. Not because of my race, but because I prefer the NFL over college football. In the mind of most of the people that I have encountered, that is absolute lunacy. Down here, college football is king, and nothing else matters (although NASCAR provides a nice way for some to pass the time until spring practice begins). Those of you reading this that are from non-SEC states may feel that I am exaggerating, but trust me, I am basing these statements on people I know or have interacted with personally. I once worked with a guy who would walk up to me daily and tell me whose colors I was wearing on a particular day. Needless to say, it would always be an SEC school. For instance, if I wore an orange shirt to work, he would say, “Why are you wearing that ugly Tennessee shirt today?” or if I happened to wear burgundy (or crimson), he would make a comment about his hatred for Alabama. I found this hilarious, especially considering the fact that he did not go to an SEC school. What amazes me even more is the fact that outside of Peyton Manning, the die-hard SEC fans rarely follow their favorite players once they move on to the NFL. It’s all about their favorite college team and the players that are currently there.
Although, I think it’s a little silly and have always gotten a kick out of watching the battle for fan supremacy in this region. I can honestly say that it is predominately good natured and light hearted banter between family, friends, or co-workers. That all changed earlier this week.
A lot of colleges have campuses have landmarks that are meaningful to its students, alumni, and the overall sense of community of the campus. On the Auburn campus, that place is Toomer’s Corner. This is where two 130 year old Oak trees reside that serve as the landmark for the celebration of all big football victories. This season, thanks largely to college football’s highest paid player, Auburn celebrated many big victories at this historic landmark. This season, the Auburn faithful managed to see a win over their hated rival (Alabama), a SEC championship win, and a win in the national championship game. Needless to say, Toomer’s Corner was the place to be this year.
Unfortunately for Auburn fans, it was also the place to be for Harvey Almorn Updyke Jr. Updyke is an Alabama fan who was arrested last week for poisoning the 130 year-old Live Oaks on Auburn’s campus with a lethal dose of herbicide. Updyke is no college kid playing a prank on the rival school. THIS MAN IS 62 YEARS OLD! The only thing related to this story that is stupider than a 62 year old man poisoning some trees, is how it was discovered that the poisoning occurred. Apparently Updyke was careful when he committed the crime, because he wasn’t caught in the act. Instead of simply getting away with it and watching the trees die a slow (and what would possibly appear to be a natural) death, this idiot called into the Paul Finebaum Radio Network (dedicated to almost exclusively to SEC sports, which is a brilliant idea) as “Al from Dadeville” to tell of the crime.
I am hoping that by making this phone call he wanted to get caught, because if he thought he would get to brag about this on syndicated radio (where all calls are recorded) and use a form of his real name (Al is short for his middle name of Almorn) and say where he really lives, he is even dumber than I originally thought that he was. Needless to say, the call was traced and he was arrested. He is and should be facing jail time for this crime, with a little bonus time for being a moron.
Just to further prove how intense the rivalry is between Auburn and Alabama, I found it interesting that after this event happened, Alabama immediately began guarding the Bear Bryant (he is Elvis to Alabama football fans) statue around the clock, to avoid what they felt would be retaliation on the part of Auburn fans.
To all of my fellow residents of the southeastern United States, let’s get a little perspective on life and college football’s place in it. It is a fun sport to watch and a nice diversion from real life for 3 or 4 hours each Saturday afternoon or evening in the fall, but it isn’t important enough to go to jail for. If you find yourself condoning the actions of Updyke, thinking about (or have thought about) committing a criminal act to hurt the rival of the school that you root for, or if you are not speaking to someone in your family simply because of their allegiance to another college football team, you should stop reading this blog and seek help immediately. Simply put, IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS!
The one question that I do have, is whether or not Updyke is an Alabama alum. It is bad enough that he did what he did, but if he did so strictly has a fan with no real ties to the University, that makes it even worse.
This story has led me to a suggestion for the ticket offices at all twelve SEC schools (except for maybe Vanderbilt). When you mail the season tickets to your fans each year, please include a pamphlet highlighting things to do in your town and the surrounding cities when football season is over. This should include such things as museums, theaters, various workshops and classes, and nice restaurants to visit. Basically things that could diversify the interests and hobbies of your fan-bases.
Also,
To the Auburn faithful, I am in no way making light of the love that you have for your campus and your famous landmark. But please stop leaving "Get Well Soon Signs" and flowers on the trees. THEY ARE TREES, they can't read, and I seriously doubt that the flowers are boosting thier spirits because THEY ARE TREES!
Being born and raised in the South, I realized early in my life that I was a minority. Not because of my race, but because I prefer the NFL over college football. In the mind of most of the people that I have encountered, that is absolute lunacy. Down here, college football is king, and nothing else matters (although NASCAR provides a nice way for some to pass the time until spring practice begins). Those of you reading this that are from non-SEC states may feel that I am exaggerating, but trust me, I am basing these statements on people I know or have interacted with personally. I once worked with a guy who would walk up to me daily and tell me whose colors I was wearing on a particular day. Needless to say, it would always be an SEC school. For instance, if I wore an orange shirt to work, he would say, “Why are you wearing that ugly Tennessee shirt today?” or if I happened to wear burgundy (or crimson), he would make a comment about his hatred for Alabama. I found this hilarious, especially considering the fact that he did not go to an SEC school. What amazes me even more is the fact that outside of Peyton Manning, the die-hard SEC fans rarely follow their favorite players once they move on to the NFL. It’s all about their favorite college team and the players that are currently there.
Although, I think it’s a little silly and have always gotten a kick out of watching the battle for fan supremacy in this region. I can honestly say that it is predominately good natured and light hearted banter between family, friends, or co-workers. That all changed earlier this week.
A lot of colleges have campuses have landmarks that are meaningful to its students, alumni, and the overall sense of community of the campus. On the Auburn campus, that place is Toomer’s Corner. This is where two 130 year old Oak trees reside that serve as the landmark for the celebration of all big football victories. This season, thanks largely to college football’s highest paid player, Auburn celebrated many big victories at this historic landmark. This season, the Auburn faithful managed to see a win over their hated rival (Alabama), a SEC championship win, and a win in the national championship game. Needless to say, Toomer’s Corner was the place to be this year.
Unfortunately for Auburn fans, it was also the place to be for Harvey Almorn Updyke Jr. Updyke is an Alabama fan who was arrested last week for poisoning the 130 year-old Live Oaks on Auburn’s campus with a lethal dose of herbicide. Updyke is no college kid playing a prank on the rival school. THIS MAN IS 62 YEARS OLD! The only thing related to this story that is stupider than a 62 year old man poisoning some trees, is how it was discovered that the poisoning occurred. Apparently Updyke was careful when he committed the crime, because he wasn’t caught in the act. Instead of simply getting away with it and watching the trees die a slow (and what would possibly appear to be a natural) death, this idiot called into the Paul Finebaum Radio Network (dedicated to almost exclusively to SEC sports, which is a brilliant idea) as “Al from Dadeville” to tell of the crime.
I am hoping that by making this phone call he wanted to get caught, because if he thought he would get to brag about this on syndicated radio (where all calls are recorded) and use a form of his real name (Al is short for his middle name of Almorn) and say where he really lives, he is even dumber than I originally thought that he was. Needless to say, the call was traced and he was arrested. He is and should be facing jail time for this crime, with a little bonus time for being a moron.
Just to further prove how intense the rivalry is between Auburn and Alabama, I found it interesting that after this event happened, Alabama immediately began guarding the Bear Bryant (he is Elvis to Alabama football fans) statue around the clock, to avoid what they felt would be retaliation on the part of Auburn fans.
To all of my fellow residents of the southeastern United States, let’s get a little perspective on life and college football’s place in it. It is a fun sport to watch and a nice diversion from real life for 3 or 4 hours each Saturday afternoon or evening in the fall, but it isn’t important enough to go to jail for. If you find yourself condoning the actions of Updyke, thinking about (or have thought about) committing a criminal act to hurt the rival of the school that you root for, or if you are not speaking to someone in your family simply because of their allegiance to another college football team, you should stop reading this blog and seek help immediately. Simply put, IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS!
The one question that I do have, is whether or not Updyke is an Alabama alum. It is bad enough that he did what he did, but if he did so strictly has a fan with no real ties to the University, that makes it even worse.
This story has led me to a suggestion for the ticket offices at all twelve SEC schools (except for maybe Vanderbilt). When you mail the season tickets to your fans each year, please include a pamphlet highlighting things to do in your town and the surrounding cities when football season is over. This should include such things as museums, theaters, various workshops and classes, and nice restaurants to visit. Basically things that could diversify the interests and hobbies of your fan-bases.
Also,
To the Auburn faithful, I am in no way making light of the love that you have for your campus and your famous landmark. But please stop leaving "Get Well Soon Signs" and flowers on the trees. THEY ARE TREES, they can't read, and I seriously doubt that the flowers are boosting thier spirits because THEY ARE TREES!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
KEEP YOUR WORD COACH
**Remember that October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month (thus the pink blog). Please do whatever you can to contribute to finding a cure for this terrible disease that affects so many.**
The one skill that separates good college football coaches from great college football coaches is their ability to recruit. Great players can make average coaches look much better than they actually are (i.e. Larry Coker during his Miami run), and average players can make great coaches look average (i.e. Steve Spurrier at South Carolina). College coaches are willing to do any and everything to get these great players to play for them. For instance, I am yet to figure out how Ron Zook can consistently get great players to play for him. Some coaches bend the rules to get recruits on campus, while other coaches flat out break the rules to get recruits on campus. There are even those who play by the rules. No matter what approach they take, success in big-time college recruiting comes down to one skill. The ability to make an 18 year old kid feel like he is an athletic god, and convincing his parents that you will take care of him as if he was your own son, make sure he gets a great education, and do your best to help him get to the next level in life, whether he intends to play in the NFL or be one of the remaining 94,328 (whatever that commercial says) players that will go pro in something else. I am not going to sit here and call all college coaches liars, but I am sure that they some interesting things to players, parents, and high school coaches to convince them that their university is the right place for them.
In Saturday's game against the Texas Longhorns, Oklahoma quarterback (and reigning Heisman Trophy winner) Sam Bradford was knocked out of the game for the second time this season with an injury to his throwing shoulder. The first shoulder injury caused Bradford to miss three games, and it is thought that this injury is similar to the first one. For those of you who don’t fully understand the significance of an injury to a quarterback’s throwing shoulder, I will try my best to explain. I want to make it clear that I am not a medical doctor nor am I a football coach, but I think I can explain this one. The quarterback is the player on the football team who is responsible for throwing the ball. You throw the ball with you arm, and the shoulder is the second most important part of the arm (behind the elbow) when it comes to throwing a ball. To make a long story short, Bradford is one serious shoulder injury away from throwing like Chad Pennington. No disrespect to Pennington, who gets more out of a dollar store water pistol arm than any quarterback in NFL history, but being compared to Chad Pennington will definitely have an adverse affect on Bradford’s draft prospects. In my very knowledgeable opinion, he is on track to become the next quarterback of the St. Louis Rams. (That’s my fancy way of saying that he will be the first pick in the 2010 NFL draft.) While most players would dread being drafted by a franchise in such disarray, the $40+ million in guaranteed money that the first pick will receive, should do a lot to make St. Louis look like a wonderful place to play football.
With so much at stake for Bradford, It is now time for Bob Stoops to put the player’s physical and financial health ahead of his desire to win games this season. I am sure that Bob Stoops made the same empty promises to Bradford’s parents that he has to every other star player that he has recruited. But now, it is time for Stoops to be a man of his word, and SHUT DOWN BRADFORD FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE SEASON!!!!
Oklahoma is currently 3-3 on the season and 1-1 in the conference, with that loss coming to Texas (who would own the tie-breaker if they finished with the same conference record). Therefore, it is safe to say that they will not be playing for the national championship this season, and their chances of playing for the conference championship are essentially dead as well. That being said, it is clear that they really don’t have anything to play for, except pride, which is a responsibility that your backup quarterback should be able to handle. Truth be told, if they were undefeated and ranked 1st in the nation, I would still feel as though it would be irresponsible for Stoops to allow Bradford back on the field.
Bradford is twenty-two years old, and is obviously going to want to get back on the field as soon as possible. If he comes out and says that he wants to shut it down for the season to protect his draft status, college football fans and the college football media are going to bash him repeatedly for being “selfish” and for “thinking about himself more than the program.” Which is why, he should continue to rehab as hard as possible and say all of the “right” things about wanting to get back on the field with his teammates and win games for Oklahoma (blah, blah, blah). Bob Stoops on the other had should be the responsible adult who protects the kid from himself by making sure that he never plays another down as a college football player. It is the job of Stoops to make sure that everyone sees the big picture, and realize that he must do what is best for Sam Bradford the person, and not the Oklahoma football program that will still be there long after Bradford is gone.
Truthfully, I don’t believe that college football programs or the NCAA really cares about what is in the best interest of their student athletes. The only thing that they really care about is money. With Bradford on the field, Oklahoma would definitely get more media exposure (which would help recruiting). They would also win more games, and play in a third tier bowl game, instead of a fourth tier bowl game (more money for the school). Bob Stoops would also get to increase his career wins. Basically, everyone EXCEPT BRADFORD has something to gain from him risking a career altering or ending injury, and continuing to play.
Now is the time for Bob Stoops to step up and show future recruits that he really does have their best interest in mind and will always do what is best for them long-term, even if it hurts the short-term future of his program. Whether he is man enough to do it remains to be seen. All I know is that Sam Bradford is one shoulder injury away from becoming Chad Pennington, and it would be a shame if he suffers that hit on a college football field before he ever gets to cash in on all of his talent and potential. Stoops, DO THE RIGHT THING & SIT THE KID!!!! The future of the Rams is in your hands.
AND NOW FOR MY BALLER AND SCRUB OF THE WEEK!
BALLER: Mark Ingram (Running Back - University of Alabama) - Although I despise Nick Saban, I absolutely love to watch the University of Alabama football team. Simply put, THEY PLAY THE GAME THE WAY IT SHOULD BE PLAYED! They play clean, hard, and with BAD INTENTIONS!!!! The ring leader on their offense is running back Mark Ingram. Ingram earns Baller Status for his 24 carry 246 yard performance against South Carolina. For those of you who aren't very good at math, that's a whopping 10.3 YARDS PER CARRY! He also had a touchdown. HE IS A BAD MAN!!!!
SCRUB: Rush Limbaugh (REJECTED Owner of the St. Louis Rams) - Rush, you being my Scrub of the Week has nothing to do with your political beliefs. This is America, and you have the right to be either Democrat, Republican, Independent, Any Combination of Them, or Neither. That is your business. However, the reason that you are my Scrub of the Week is because you actually tried to become a part owner of a team in a league that is nearly 70% African-American after you have made numerous racial and prejudice statements about African-Americans and black NFL players over the years. Are you serious? This isn't a politcal blog, so I won't get into Limbaugh's infamous quotes. Let's just say he isn't the type of person who needs to own a team that is mostly made up of African-Americans. Nothing good can come from that situation.
The one skill that separates good college football coaches from great college football coaches is their ability to recruit. Great players can make average coaches look much better than they actually are (i.e. Larry Coker during his Miami run), and average players can make great coaches look average (i.e. Steve Spurrier at South Carolina). College coaches are willing to do any and everything to get these great players to play for them. For instance, I am yet to figure out how Ron Zook can consistently get great players to play for him. Some coaches bend the rules to get recruits on campus, while other coaches flat out break the rules to get recruits on campus. There are even those who play by the rules. No matter what approach they take, success in big-time college recruiting comes down to one skill. The ability to make an 18 year old kid feel like he is an athletic god, and convincing his parents that you will take care of him as if he was your own son, make sure he gets a great education, and do your best to help him get to the next level in life, whether he intends to play in the NFL or be one of the remaining 94,328 (whatever that commercial says) players that will go pro in something else. I am not going to sit here and call all college coaches liars, but I am sure that they some interesting things to players, parents, and high school coaches to convince them that their university is the right place for them.
In Saturday's game against the Texas Longhorns, Oklahoma quarterback (and reigning Heisman Trophy winner) Sam Bradford was knocked out of the game for the second time this season with an injury to his throwing shoulder. The first shoulder injury caused Bradford to miss three games, and it is thought that this injury is similar to the first one. For those of you who don’t fully understand the significance of an injury to a quarterback’s throwing shoulder, I will try my best to explain. I want to make it clear that I am not a medical doctor nor am I a football coach, but I think I can explain this one. The quarterback is the player on the football team who is responsible for throwing the ball. You throw the ball with you arm, and the shoulder is the second most important part of the arm (behind the elbow) when it comes to throwing a ball. To make a long story short, Bradford is one serious shoulder injury away from throwing like Chad Pennington. No disrespect to Pennington, who gets more out of a dollar store water pistol arm than any quarterback in NFL history, but being compared to Chad Pennington will definitely have an adverse affect on Bradford’s draft prospects. In my very knowledgeable opinion, he is on track to become the next quarterback of the St. Louis Rams. (That’s my fancy way of saying that he will be the first pick in the 2010 NFL draft.) While most players would dread being drafted by a franchise in such disarray, the $40+ million in guaranteed money that the first pick will receive, should do a lot to make St. Louis look like a wonderful place to play football.
With so much at stake for Bradford, It is now time for Bob Stoops to put the player’s physical and financial health ahead of his desire to win games this season. I am sure that Bob Stoops made the same empty promises to Bradford’s parents that he has to every other star player that he has recruited. But now, it is time for Stoops to be a man of his word, and SHUT DOWN BRADFORD FOR THE REMAINDER OF THE SEASON!!!!
Oklahoma is currently 3-3 on the season and 1-1 in the conference, with that loss coming to Texas (who would own the tie-breaker if they finished with the same conference record). Therefore, it is safe to say that they will not be playing for the national championship this season, and their chances of playing for the conference championship are essentially dead as well. That being said, it is clear that they really don’t have anything to play for, except pride, which is a responsibility that your backup quarterback should be able to handle. Truth be told, if they were undefeated and ranked 1st in the nation, I would still feel as though it would be irresponsible for Stoops to allow Bradford back on the field.
Bradford is twenty-two years old, and is obviously going to want to get back on the field as soon as possible. If he comes out and says that he wants to shut it down for the season to protect his draft status, college football fans and the college football media are going to bash him repeatedly for being “selfish” and for “thinking about himself more than the program.” Which is why, he should continue to rehab as hard as possible and say all of the “right” things about wanting to get back on the field with his teammates and win games for Oklahoma (blah, blah, blah). Bob Stoops on the other had should be the responsible adult who protects the kid from himself by making sure that he never plays another down as a college football player. It is the job of Stoops to make sure that everyone sees the big picture, and realize that he must do what is best for Sam Bradford the person, and not the Oklahoma football program that will still be there long after Bradford is gone.
Truthfully, I don’t believe that college football programs or the NCAA really cares about what is in the best interest of their student athletes. The only thing that they really care about is money. With Bradford on the field, Oklahoma would definitely get more media exposure (which would help recruiting). They would also win more games, and play in a third tier bowl game, instead of a fourth tier bowl game (more money for the school). Bob Stoops would also get to increase his career wins. Basically, everyone EXCEPT BRADFORD has something to gain from him risking a career altering or ending injury, and continuing to play.
Now is the time for Bob Stoops to step up and show future recruits that he really does have their best interest in mind and will always do what is best for them long-term, even if it hurts the short-term future of his program. Whether he is man enough to do it remains to be seen. All I know is that Sam Bradford is one shoulder injury away from becoming Chad Pennington, and it would be a shame if he suffers that hit on a college football field before he ever gets to cash in on all of his talent and potential. Stoops, DO THE RIGHT THING & SIT THE KID!!!! The future of the Rams is in your hands.
AND NOW FOR MY BALLER AND SCRUB OF THE WEEK!
BALLER: Mark Ingram (Running Back - University of Alabama) - Although I despise Nick Saban, I absolutely love to watch the University of Alabama football team. Simply put, THEY PLAY THE GAME THE WAY IT SHOULD BE PLAYED! They play clean, hard, and with BAD INTENTIONS!!!! The ring leader on their offense is running back Mark Ingram. Ingram earns Baller Status for his 24 carry 246 yard performance against South Carolina. For those of you who aren't very good at math, that's a whopping 10.3 YARDS PER CARRY! He also had a touchdown. HE IS A BAD MAN!!!!
SCRUB: Rush Limbaugh (REJECTED Owner of the St. Louis Rams) - Rush, you being my Scrub of the Week has nothing to do with your political beliefs. This is America, and you have the right to be either Democrat, Republican, Independent, Any Combination of Them, or Neither. That is your business. However, the reason that you are my Scrub of the Week is because you actually tried to become a part owner of a team in a league that is nearly 70% African-American after you have made numerous racial and prejudice statements about African-Americans and black NFL players over the years. Are you serious? This isn't a politcal blog, so I won't get into Limbaugh's infamous quotes. Let's just say he isn't the type of person who needs to own a team that is mostly made up of African-Americans. Nothing good can come from that situation.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)