Everyone who follows college football knows that the Southeastern Conference is by far the strongest conference in the nation. It is home to such traditional powers as Alabama, LSU, and Florida. Even its second tier programs (Auburn, Georgia, Tennessee, and Arkansas) are traditionally stronger than most top programs in other conferences. Even though the quality of football is the strongest in the world outside of that Sunday afternoon league, one could argue that the SEC is more well know for the “passion” (and I use that term loosely) of its fans than the actual football being played on the field.
Being born and raised in the South, I realized early in my life that I was a minority. Not because of my race, but because I prefer the NFL over college football. In the mind of most of the people that I have encountered, that is absolute lunacy. Down here, college football is king, and nothing else matters (although NASCAR provides a nice way for some to pass the time until spring practice begins). Those of you reading this that are from non-SEC states may feel that I am exaggerating, but trust me, I am basing these statements on people I know or have interacted with personally. I once worked with a guy who would walk up to me daily and tell me whose colors I was wearing on a particular day. Needless to say, it would always be an SEC school. For instance, if I wore an orange shirt to work, he would say, “Why are you wearing that ugly Tennessee shirt today?” or if I happened to wear burgundy (or crimson), he would make a comment about his hatred for Alabama. I found this hilarious, especially considering the fact that he did not go to an SEC school. What amazes me even more is the fact that outside of Peyton Manning, the die-hard SEC fans rarely follow their favorite players once they move on to the NFL. It’s all about their favorite college team and the players that are currently there.
Although, I think it’s a little silly and have always gotten a kick out of watching the battle for fan supremacy in this region. I can honestly say that it is predominately good natured and light hearted banter between family, friends, or co-workers. That all changed earlier this week.
A lot of colleges have campuses have landmarks that are meaningful to its students, alumni, and the overall sense of community of the campus. On the Auburn campus, that place is Toomer’s Corner. This is where two 130 year old Oak trees reside that serve as the landmark for the celebration of all big football victories. This season, thanks largely to college football’s highest paid player, Auburn celebrated many big victories at this historic landmark. This season, the Auburn faithful managed to see a win over their hated rival (Alabama), a SEC championship win, and a win in the national championship game. Needless to say, Toomer’s Corner was the place to be this year.
Unfortunately for Auburn fans, it was also the place to be for Harvey Almorn Updyke Jr. Updyke is an Alabama fan who was arrested last week for poisoning the 130 year-old Live Oaks on Auburn’s campus with a lethal dose of herbicide. Updyke is no college kid playing a prank on the rival school. THIS MAN IS 62 YEARS OLD! The only thing related to this story that is stupider than a 62 year old man poisoning some trees, is how it was discovered that the poisoning occurred. Apparently Updyke was careful when he committed the crime, because he wasn’t caught in the act. Instead of simply getting away with it and watching the trees die a slow (and what would possibly appear to be a natural) death, this idiot called into the Paul Finebaum Radio Network (dedicated to almost exclusively to SEC sports, which is a brilliant idea) as “Al from Dadeville” to tell of the crime.
I am hoping that by making this phone call he wanted to get caught, because if he thought he would get to brag about this on syndicated radio (where all calls are recorded) and use a form of his real name (Al is short for his middle name of Almorn) and say where he really lives, he is even dumber than I originally thought that he was. Needless to say, the call was traced and he was arrested. He is and should be facing jail time for this crime, with a little bonus time for being a moron.
Just to further prove how intense the rivalry is between Auburn and Alabama, I found it interesting that after this event happened, Alabama immediately began guarding the Bear Bryant (he is Elvis to Alabama football fans) statue around the clock, to avoid what they felt would be retaliation on the part of Auburn fans.
To all of my fellow residents of the southeastern United States, let’s get a little perspective on life and college football’s place in it. It is a fun sport to watch and a nice diversion from real life for 3 or 4 hours each Saturday afternoon or evening in the fall, but it isn’t important enough to go to jail for. If you find yourself condoning the actions of Updyke, thinking about (or have thought about) committing a criminal act to hurt the rival of the school that you root for, or if you are not speaking to someone in your family simply because of their allegiance to another college football team, you should stop reading this blog and seek help immediately. Simply put, IT’S NOT THAT SERIOUS!
The one question that I do have, is whether or not Updyke is an Alabama alum. It is bad enough that he did what he did, but if he did so strictly has a fan with no real ties to the University, that makes it even worse.
This story has led me to a suggestion for the ticket offices at all twelve SEC schools (except for maybe Vanderbilt). When you mail the season tickets to your fans each year, please include a pamphlet highlighting things to do in your town and the surrounding cities when football season is over. This should include such things as museums, theaters, various workshops and classes, and nice restaurants to visit. Basically things that could diversify the interests and hobbies of your fan-bases.
Also,
To the Auburn faithful, I am in no way making light of the love that you have for your campus and your famous landmark. But please stop leaving "Get Well Soon Signs" and flowers on the trees. THEY ARE TREES, they can't read, and I seriously doubt that the flowers are boosting thier spirits because THEY ARE TREES!
Showing posts with label Auburn. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Auburn. Show all posts
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Sunday, December 19, 2010
I HOPE YOU MISSED ME WHILE I WAS GONE
I would like to thank you all for taking the time to read this, this evening. You're far to kind. You could be anywhere in the world, but you’re here with me. I appreciate that. (Since I am currently reading Decoded, I’m in a Jay-Z frame of mind.)
Thanks to my educational pursuits (I have completed my MBA), it has been a while since I last posted. But the important thing is that I am back now, and I will do my best to make this blog better than ever. Since I’ve been gone, quite a bit has happened in the world of sports. Let’s discuss a few of them, shall we?
Cam Newton wins the Heisman Trophy (at least temporarily)
Many people believe that Cam Newton will eventually have to return the Heisman Trophy. I am not one of those people. That is because I don’t think they ever let him take it home. Sure they let him pose with it for lots of pictures and hold it up triumphantly after he was announced as the winner. But after the ceremony, I believe that they just asked him to leave it with them to save the return shipping, that would otherwise have to be spent when it is taken away in the near future. In my opinion he is definitely on Auburn’s payroll, because I simply refuse to believe that it was going to cost Mississippi State $180,000 for his services, but Auburn got them for free. NO CHANCE! I hate the NCAA (the most hypocritical cartel in all of sports) and I wish them nothing but the worst. Anything that makes them look bad makes me feel better, so I am enjoying all of the bad publicity that they have been receiving over this poorly handled fiasco.
That being said, I would like to explain something to all of the old school sports writers and commentators who hold the Heisman Trophy in such high regard. I have heard so many people refer to it as the most significant honor in all of sports. That may have been a true statement 30 or 40 years ago, but that is no longer the case. I am pretty sure that very few high school or college football players would list winning the Heisman Trophy as their main individual goal. Honestly, they could care less. The most significant honor in college football is now, A FIRST ROUND NFL PAYCHECK! That’s the ultimate goal, not a 25 pound bronze statue that symbolizes that you are the best volunteer football player in the entire nation (although I’m pretty sure that all of them weren’t “volunteers”.) With that in mind, don’t feel sorry for Cam Newton when his picture is removed from the walls and placed in a back room of the Downtown Athletic Club along with Reggie Bush, because they won’t be feeling bad at all. They will simply log on to their bank’s website and hit balance inquiry. At that moment they will realize that they have indeed won.
LeBron James Takes His Talents to South Beach
All of the haters can now suck on a baby’s bottle full of haterade and just stop talking. Anyone who though that Wade, Bosh, and James wouldn’t be able to play together, obviously don’t understand basketball. Let’s just put LeBron James’ otherworldly talents into perspective. He led a Cavs team that wouldn’t win the Big Ten without him to 60+ wins each of the last two seasons. He was the entire team, and the future was not going to get any brighter. He had reached his plateau there. The team was not going to improve, because with him there they were too good to get high draft picks. Also, they were never going to sign any of the top free-agents because, well….(not to offend anyone’s hometown), but it's Cleveland. I challenge anyone to name ONE top free agent in any sport that CHOSE TO PLAY IN CLEVELAND. It's simply not happening, and LeBron knew that as well. Any player that it traded to Cleveland will surely leave as soon as their contract is up. Do I think that they are going to win a championship this year? NO, because my Celtics (led by my favorite NBA player, Rajon Rondo) will. However, outside of Rondo all of the Celtics best players are a year or two away from AARP eligibility, therefore we can expect the Heat to have a nice five-year run beginning next season. In the meantime, don’t hate the man for wanting to play with better players, live in a city with better weather, and enjoy better scenery (draw your own meaning from that) while hanging out on an off day. Like I said, no disrespect to Cleveland, but it's Cleveland. I think the great bow-tie wearing NBA philosopher Joakim Noah said it best when he asked, “When was the last time someone said that they were going on vacation to Cleveland?”
Joe Johnson Becomes an Elite (at least in salary) NBA Player
You have to love free-enterprise. Only in Atlanta, can a player who has career playoff averages of 16.3 points, 3.6 assists, and 4.5 rebounds per game, and is yet to lead his team to a second round playoff win (NOT WIN A SECOND ROUND SERIES, I AM TALKING ABOUT WINNING A SECOND ROUND GAME!!!!), be rewarded with a 6-year, $119 million contract. Don’t get me wrong, these would be excellent numbers for Marvin Williams (actually I would wash Marvin Williams car if he ever performed this well, even in the pre-season), but Joe Johnson is allegedly our best player and team leader. Giving a playoff scrub this contract ranks up there with other brilliant Hawks personnel moves like trading away Dominique Wilkins for Danny Manning. This is also the franchise that at one point was paying Jon Koncak more than Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and Larry Bird were making at the time. Now Joe Johnson is definitely a better player than Koncak, but when you look at bang for the buck, I wonder which deal was better. I wonder if they have the same agent? And if that agent has pictures of a Hawks executive riding through Buckhead with a woman other than his wife (shout-out to Damon Evans).
Andy Reid Gets Lucky
This off-season the Philadelphia Eagles traded franchise icon Donovan McNabb to make room for Kevin Kolb to become the team’s starting quarterback. Kolb was injured in his first start, which forced Reid to turn the reigns of the team over to Michael Vick. And the rest is history. There really isn’t much more to say about this, if you have been living under a rock and have missed Vick’s season (it looks like he is playing a video game and has all of the cheat codes), you will just have to clear some time and watch the highlights on YouTube. You know, I think Kolb is now 100% healthy, why isn’t he playing? Wasn’t he the player that they thought would be better after watching both of them all through training camp? I guess Andy Reid was wrong, but fortunately, he finally got it right.
The Eagles and Falcons look to be on a collision course to face one another in the NFC title game at the Georgia Dome. Everyone in America (that doesn’t play defense for the Falcons) is looking forward to that possibility.
Brett Favre Breaks New Ground
For the first time in team sports history, a player served as his coach’s boss. This is essentially what happened in Minnesota when Brad Childress sent three players down to Mississippi to beg Brett Favre to come back for his 83rd NFL season. Anyone who knows anything about the narcissistic diva that is Bret Favre knows that he loved this feeling of being the only girl at a homecoming dance at an all boy’s school. All of the attention and power was his. Even though Favre had a 3-7 record and had thrown only 10 TD’s in comparison with 17 INT’s, Childress did not have the authority to bench him for his poor play, simply because his authority as coach went out of the window of the private jet he sent to Mississippi. Thanks in large part to Childress’ brilliant coaching and Favre’s Hall of Fame level of play, one of the most talented teams in the NFL is currently playing with an interim coach and are out of playoff contention. Just to add insult to injury, the roof of their stadium also collapsed. I guess, when it snows, it pours.
AND NOW FOR MY BALLER & SCRUB OF THE WEEK:
BALLER: Michael Vick & DeSean Jackson (Philadelphia Eagles) – This combination is absolutely scary! You have Michael Vick who should be doing commercials for the penal system, because he is the first person that I have ever seen be rehabilitated by prison. He is simply not the same person he was when he enterened prison (maybe T.I. can learn a thing or two from him). He is either a changed man or a ridiculously talented actor. Either way, I commend him on his play on the field and who he appears to be off the field.
O'Dog (my nickname for DeSean Jackson) has to be the second scariest player in the NFL (only behind Vick). He can score from anywhere on the field. His speed is ridiculous (I think he is the fasted player in the league, apologies to Chris Johnson and Devin Hester). I for one am glad that he is such a successful football player, and I hope that he has a long and successful career. Although he is a little fella, he just strikes me as one of those Ball or Rob guys. I hope that I'm wrong, but he seems like the type that would be a Menace to Society if he wasn't a professional athlete. Therefore we should all be glad that he chose to rack up the statistics on the football field and not become a statistic off the field.
SCRUB: ESPN - Brett Favre is injured and did not play last week. As a matter of fact, he may not play again ever. Yet, somehow there is a Brett Favre story everyday on Sportscenter. "Come on Man!" are you serious, it is now time to find a new athlete to stalk. I hear Tim Tebow is looking for some attention.
SCRUB: Tony Dungy (NBC Football Night in America) - Tony, you are now a talking head on television, which means that the NFL no longer gives you clothes to wear each Sunday. Therefore you are now responsible for dressing yourself. The dress code for you current position is a suite and tie. Since you are on national television, i suggest that you stop buying your suits off of the clearance rack at JC Penney's. I am not saying that you have to spend a fortune on your clothes, but your suits have to at a minimum be nicer than mine. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with JC Penny's, but as a person on network television, you should look like a person on network television. Hit me up if you need some help, I have a homeboy that is a manager at a national men's retail chain that can help you out.
Thanks to my educational pursuits (I have completed my MBA), it has been a while since I last posted. But the important thing is that I am back now, and I will do my best to make this blog better than ever. Since I’ve been gone, quite a bit has happened in the world of sports. Let’s discuss a few of them, shall we?
Cam Newton wins the Heisman Trophy (at least temporarily)
Many people believe that Cam Newton will eventually have to return the Heisman Trophy. I am not one of those people. That is because I don’t think they ever let him take it home. Sure they let him pose with it for lots of pictures and hold it up triumphantly after he was announced as the winner. But after the ceremony, I believe that they just asked him to leave it with them to save the return shipping, that would otherwise have to be spent when it is taken away in the near future. In my opinion he is definitely on Auburn’s payroll, because I simply refuse to believe that it was going to cost Mississippi State $180,000 for his services, but Auburn got them for free. NO CHANCE! I hate the NCAA (the most hypocritical cartel in all of sports) and I wish them nothing but the worst. Anything that makes them look bad makes me feel better, so I am enjoying all of the bad publicity that they have been receiving over this poorly handled fiasco.
That being said, I would like to explain something to all of the old school sports writers and commentators who hold the Heisman Trophy in such high regard. I have heard so many people refer to it as the most significant honor in all of sports. That may have been a true statement 30 or 40 years ago, but that is no longer the case. I am pretty sure that very few high school or college football players would list winning the Heisman Trophy as their main individual goal. Honestly, they could care less. The most significant honor in college football is now, A FIRST ROUND NFL PAYCHECK! That’s the ultimate goal, not a 25 pound bronze statue that symbolizes that you are the best volunteer football player in the entire nation (although I’m pretty sure that all of them weren’t “volunteers”.) With that in mind, don’t feel sorry for Cam Newton when his picture is removed from the walls and placed in a back room of the Downtown Athletic Club along with Reggie Bush, because they won’t be feeling bad at all. They will simply log on to their bank’s website and hit balance inquiry. At that moment they will realize that they have indeed won.
LeBron James Takes His Talents to South Beach
All of the haters can now suck on a baby’s bottle full of haterade and just stop talking. Anyone who though that Wade, Bosh, and James wouldn’t be able to play together, obviously don’t understand basketball. Let’s just put LeBron James’ otherworldly talents into perspective. He led a Cavs team that wouldn’t win the Big Ten without him to 60+ wins each of the last two seasons. He was the entire team, and the future was not going to get any brighter. He had reached his plateau there. The team was not going to improve, because with him there they were too good to get high draft picks. Also, they were never going to sign any of the top free-agents because, well….(not to offend anyone’s hometown), but it's Cleveland. I challenge anyone to name ONE top free agent in any sport that CHOSE TO PLAY IN CLEVELAND. It's simply not happening, and LeBron knew that as well. Any player that it traded to Cleveland will surely leave as soon as their contract is up. Do I think that they are going to win a championship this year? NO, because my Celtics (led by my favorite NBA player, Rajon Rondo) will. However, outside of Rondo all of the Celtics best players are a year or two away from AARP eligibility, therefore we can expect the Heat to have a nice five-year run beginning next season. In the meantime, don’t hate the man for wanting to play with better players, live in a city with better weather, and enjoy better scenery (draw your own meaning from that) while hanging out on an off day. Like I said, no disrespect to Cleveland, but it's Cleveland. I think the great bow-tie wearing NBA philosopher Joakim Noah said it best when he asked, “When was the last time someone said that they were going on vacation to Cleveland?”
Joe Johnson Becomes an Elite (at least in salary) NBA Player
You have to love free-enterprise. Only in Atlanta, can a player who has career playoff averages of 16.3 points, 3.6 assists, and 4.5 rebounds per game, and is yet to lead his team to a second round playoff win (NOT WIN A SECOND ROUND SERIES, I AM TALKING ABOUT WINNING A SECOND ROUND GAME!!!!), be rewarded with a 6-year, $119 million contract. Don’t get me wrong, these would be excellent numbers for Marvin Williams (actually I would wash Marvin Williams car if he ever performed this well, even in the pre-season), but Joe Johnson is allegedly our best player and team leader. Giving a playoff scrub this contract ranks up there with other brilliant Hawks personnel moves like trading away Dominique Wilkins for Danny Manning. This is also the franchise that at one point was paying Jon Koncak more than Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and Larry Bird were making at the time. Now Joe Johnson is definitely a better player than Koncak, but when you look at bang for the buck, I wonder which deal was better. I wonder if they have the same agent? And if that agent has pictures of a Hawks executive riding through Buckhead with a woman other than his wife (shout-out to Damon Evans).
Andy Reid Gets Lucky
This off-season the Philadelphia Eagles traded franchise icon Donovan McNabb to make room for Kevin Kolb to become the team’s starting quarterback. Kolb was injured in his first start, which forced Reid to turn the reigns of the team over to Michael Vick. And the rest is history. There really isn’t much more to say about this, if you have been living under a rock and have missed Vick’s season (it looks like he is playing a video game and has all of the cheat codes), you will just have to clear some time and watch the highlights on YouTube. You know, I think Kolb is now 100% healthy, why isn’t he playing? Wasn’t he the player that they thought would be better after watching both of them all through training camp? I guess Andy Reid was wrong, but fortunately, he finally got it right.
The Eagles and Falcons look to be on a collision course to face one another in the NFC title game at the Georgia Dome. Everyone in America (that doesn’t play defense for the Falcons) is looking forward to that possibility.
Brett Favre Breaks New Ground
For the first time in team sports history, a player served as his coach’s boss. This is essentially what happened in Minnesota when Brad Childress sent three players down to Mississippi to beg Brett Favre to come back for his 83rd NFL season. Anyone who knows anything about the narcissistic diva that is Bret Favre knows that he loved this feeling of being the only girl at a homecoming dance at an all boy’s school. All of the attention and power was his. Even though Favre had a 3-7 record and had thrown only 10 TD’s in comparison with 17 INT’s, Childress did not have the authority to bench him for his poor play, simply because his authority as coach went out of the window of the private jet he sent to Mississippi. Thanks in large part to Childress’ brilliant coaching and Favre’s Hall of Fame level of play, one of the most talented teams in the NFL is currently playing with an interim coach and are out of playoff contention. Just to add insult to injury, the roof of their stadium also collapsed. I guess, when it snows, it pours.
AND NOW FOR MY BALLER & SCRUB OF THE WEEK:
BALLER: Michael Vick & DeSean Jackson (Philadelphia Eagles) – This combination is absolutely scary! You have Michael Vick who should be doing commercials for the penal system, because he is the first person that I have ever seen be rehabilitated by prison. He is simply not the same person he was when he enterened prison (maybe T.I. can learn a thing or two from him). He is either a changed man or a ridiculously talented actor. Either way, I commend him on his play on the field and who he appears to be off the field.
O'Dog (my nickname for DeSean Jackson) has to be the second scariest player in the NFL (only behind Vick). He can score from anywhere on the field. His speed is ridiculous (I think he is the fasted player in the league, apologies to Chris Johnson and Devin Hester). I for one am glad that he is such a successful football player, and I hope that he has a long and successful career. Although he is a little fella, he just strikes me as one of those Ball or Rob guys. I hope that I'm wrong, but he seems like the type that would be a Menace to Society if he wasn't a professional athlete. Therefore we should all be glad that he chose to rack up the statistics on the football field and not become a statistic off the field.
SCRUB: ESPN - Brett Favre is injured and did not play last week. As a matter of fact, he may not play again ever. Yet, somehow there is a Brett Favre story everyday on Sportscenter. "Come on Man!" are you serious, it is now time to find a new athlete to stalk. I hear Tim Tebow is looking for some attention.
SCRUB: Tony Dungy (NBC Football Night in America) - Tony, you are now a talking head on television, which means that the NFL no longer gives you clothes to wear each Sunday. Therefore you are now responsible for dressing yourself. The dress code for you current position is a suite and tie. Since you are on national television, i suggest that you stop buying your suits off of the clearance rack at JC Penney's. I am not saying that you have to spend a fortune on your clothes, but your suits have to at a minimum be nicer than mine. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with JC Penny's, but as a person on network television, you should look like a person on network television. Hit me up if you need some help, I have a homeboy that is a manager at a national men's retail chain that can help you out.
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