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While I am sitting in my home office in a suburb of Atlanta, GA, I just realized that there are currently some extremely nervous individuals in Foxboro, MA and San Francisco, CA. That is because Sunday’s games will be a career defining moment for many of their participants. Tom Brady can add to his legend by leading his team to a fifth Super Bowl appearance. He is also married to a super-model that is actually richer than he is, which is much more important in my book. Ray Lewis can set up the perfect way to exit the playing field and begin an equally lucrative career on the corporate motivational speaking circuit. Alex Smith can tell all of his critics/haters to kiss his A$$ (I’m pretty sure I’ll get the first email) if he manages a victory on Sunday. If Eli Manning wins Sunday and makes it to another Super Bowl, I will have to stop calling him Gomer Pile, and more importantly, Peyton will have to start treating him with some measure of respect and actually call him by his real name. Then there’s the quarterback that is crying out for attention and respect, Joe Flacco. I’m sure that he feels that by leading the Ravens to a Super Bowl appearance, he will finally be mentioned with the greats. I hate to be the one to break the news to him, but win or lose on Sunday, public perception of him is not going to change. If they win, he won’t get any credit, it will all go to Ray Rice, and their defensive stars. While a loss will certainly be pinned squarely on his chest. I’m not saying its right, but that’s just the way it is.
This is the most difficult weekend of the year for all NFL players. A victory, will mean that you will get to live out your childhood dream and play in the Super Bowl. A loss will be absolutely heartbreaking. There are no guarantees in professional sports, and I can’t imagine any feeling being worst than being on the doorstep of accomplishing your dream, but your key doesn’t work. I’m a guy that would rather lose by 50, than lose by 1. It’s much better to not come close to your dream, than to come close and then have it all snatched away. Fortunately (for some) and unfortunately (for others), the outcomes of Sunday’s games are going to be life altering for the participants. The question is, will it be life altering in a good way, or a bad way? Two of these teams will have one more game to play, and two of them will just be a footnote in NFL history. Now it’s time to determine, who will win and who will be going home. My predictions for Championship Weekend are….
Ravens vs. Patriots
These two teams are polar opposites, yet very evenly matched. The Patriots have the advantage at quarterback, while the Ravens have just as big of an advantage at the running back position. Chad Ochocinco leads a Patriots group of receivers and tight ends that will ensure that the Ravens defense has to cover every single blade of grass on the field. (Yeah I know Chad is done, but he still thinks that he is a good player, so I’m going to play along for now.) While defending the high-powered New England offense, will be quite the challenge, Baltimore has a defense that will indeed be up to the task. There isn’t an offensive lineman on the Patriots roster that can contain “Sizzle”. The BSHU alum will definitely put a few good hits on Brady during this game. At the second level of the defense is Ray Lewis. Has he lost a step? Sure he has, maybe even two. Considering the level that he played at in his prime, him losing a step basically means that he is now playing at only a Pro Bowl level. He plays the game mentally and will ensure that his defense is always in position to make the correct play. While New England doesn’t run the ball very much, by choice, the presence of Ray Lewis will ensure that they don’t run the ball because he said they can’t run the ball. Then on the back end there is Ed Reed. He is looking to get rid of the title of “Best Safety in NFL history without a Super Bowl ring”, and simply be known as the “Best Safety in NFL history”.
I noticed last week (and throughout the season), that Joe Flacco gets away with a lot of throws. He often throws to covered receivers. I don’t know if that is because he has that much faith in his receivers, or because he knows his receivers can’t get separation and he is just hoping that they make the catch. This would normally make me nervous for Raven fans, but the New England secondary is ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE! They can’t cover their beds with a blanket. Not only is the Patriots secondary among the league worst, their pass rush doesn’t exactly strike fear in the hearts of opponents either. This should make Flacco and he receivers very happy.
Offenses all over the league exploded this year and put up numbers never seen before. This year alone there were three 5,000 yard passers and six quarterbacks who topped 4,500 passing yards. That being said, I am still a believer in the old football adage, that offense sells tickets while defense wins championships. I am not the only one who believes this to still be true. There are lots of people in Baltimore that feel the same way that I do. While the Patriots have the better offense, Baltimore will be the only team on the field in Foxboro on Sunday that plays anything that resembles defense. For that reason I am picking the Baltimore Ravens to beat the New England Patriots to and represent the AFC in the Super Bowl. At the start of the season, I picked the Ravens to make it to the Super Bowl, and they have not given me any reason to waver (maybe I thought twice after the losses to Seattle, Tennessee, and Jacksonville, but that’s not the point right now).
Prediction: Ravens 27 – Patriots 21
Giants vs. 49ers
Alex Smith was the first overall pick in a draft that included Aaron Rodgers. Boy did the 49ers get that one wrong! I remember watching that draft and saying to my friends, “What the hell are they doing? You never draft a system quarterback from Utah with the first pick in the draft.” I knew it was a horrible mistake on draft day, and today I still know it was a horrible mistake. Fast forward seven years from that horrible day in 49ers history, and the same Alex Smith has the 49ers one game away from the Super Bowl. Actually I should say that the 49ers have Alex Smith one game away from the Super Bowl. Alex Smith has morphed into the modern day Trent Dilfer. He has one job, DON’T TURN THE BALL OVER! This year he has done that job remarkably well. He leads the NFL if fewest interceptions thrown in the regular season, with only five. That is quite commendable, even if he only threw for 3,144 yards and 17 touchdowns. Thanks to excellent coaching and very careful play and game management, Alex Smith has raised his level of play to that of a late third round pick. While he isn’t talented enough to ever play up to his draft position, he can at least stop being mentioned among the worst 1st overall picks in NFL history. That trophy can now be engraved with JaMarcus Russell’s name. That debate is officially over.
While Alex Smith doesn’t lose games, the 49ers defense definitely wins games. They have studs at every level. There is Justin Smith on the defensive line. Patrick Willis, Navarro Bowman, and Aldon Smith at the linebacker positions, and a hard-hitting, ball-hawking secondary led by Carlos Rogers and DaShon Goldson. Going into the Saints game, I thought the fact that the 49ers defense hits extremely hard would be the difference in the game, because the Saints are a bit of a soft team. Unfortunately for the 49ers, their opponents on Sunday won’t be intimidated at all. No one can call the Giants soft (excluding Brandon Jacobs), and they will hit back just as hard as the 49ers will hit them.
I never thought I would say this, but Eli Manning is the real deal. He is without a doubt an elite quarterback in the league, and I would rank him somewhere between 5 and 8 if I were to rank them. He has the Giants offense clicking, and they look like an unstoppable machine. That being said, they will definitely be tested by the 49ers on Sunday. Fortunately for Eli, the Giants have the best defensive line in football, and they will pretty much ensure that the 49ers’ already limited offense will be unproductive. While I don’t see the Giants putting up a big number against the San Francisco’s defense, I see them doing enough to win the game. Victor Cruz and Hakeem Nicks will make just enough plays to punch the Giants ticket to Indianapolis for a meeting with the Ravens.
Prediction: Giants 17 – 49ers 9
And now for my Baller & Scrub of the Week….
BALLER – Kyle Williams: You’re probably saying who? Kyle Williams is a wide receiver for the San Francisco 49ers. Personally, I’m shocked that he isn’t a household name. I mean he did catch 20 passes for 241 yards and 3 touchdowns this season. Before you laugh, just know that he had better numbers this season than the Scrub of the Week (listed below). Williams is not the Baller of the Week because of his hands. He earns this award because of his toughness. It was Williams that made the key block on a Saints defensive lineman that led to Alex Smith’s touchdown run in last week’s game. As a result of that play, the mainstream media have been singing the praises of Jim Harbaugh for the “gutsy” play call and Alex Smith for the run. They both deserve the credit that they have received for the play. However, the play does not happen without an excellent “crack-back” block by Williams.
Personally, I do not like the way that football is televised. They focus on following the ball, which is the best way for a casual football fan to watch the game. That is after all who the networks are targeting with their coverage. However, an end zone view from behind the defense (the all-22 view) is by far the best way to watch the game. This view allows the viewer to see entire plays develop, and would have made it very easy to see the block that sprung Alex on his great touchdown run.
Watch #10 closely in the clip below. You will see that his block was indeed what made the play.
Unfortunately for him, he didn’t get the attention that he deserved from the national media for an excellent block. For what’s it’s, I saw the block as it happened (as the camera focused on following the ball), and I salute you, Kyle Williams for making the play that kept your team in the game.
SCRUB – Terrell Eldorado Owens: Initially I felt as though Owens deserved this dubious distinction for managing to earn and blow nearly $70 million in football earnings before his 40th birthday. Then I discovered that his middle name is “Eldorado”. Really?! Let’s all pause for the cause and take a moment to think about how bad he was teased growing up with that middle name. I do have one question for his parents. Was conceived in the back seat of a Cadillac, or if his dad just dreamed of having a Cadillac Eldorado some day? No matter what the answers to my questions are, it’s a terrible thing to name a child, and I’m surprised CPS never came to his rescue with a court-ordered name change.
All jokes aside, I am terribly disappointed in Eldorado for being stupid enough to blow what could grow to become generational wealth, with wise investing and careful spending, before his 40th birthday. There are often stories of big name athletes making a fortune during their career, only to become broke during their retirement. Eldorado is broke due to a combination of paying the way for his entire family, making several bad real estate investments, having four children that he must support by four different women (approximately $44,000 per month), allowing people to take advantage of him financially, entering into an assortment of bad business deals, and simply being stupid. His biggest fault was trusting others with his money. That is the biggest mistake anyone could ever make. According to Eldorado, his financial advisors and lawyers told him,”You take care of football, and we’ll take care of the rest.” He actually believed them, and was shocked when he ran out of money. Apparently he was raised to trust the word of all others when it comes to your money, because they will always lookout for your best interest and never take advantage of your stupidity. I guess he didn’t pay attention at the NFL’s rookie symposium when they teach new players how to handle their money and other off-field issues. I know that he played four years at UT-Chattanooga, but I do not know if he actually earned a degree. If he did, the school should either lose its accreditation or take back his degree, because he is too stupid to be a college graduate.
The fact that Eldorado has been toxic to nearly every locker room he has ever entered as a professional is why he is out of work today. He is a physical specimen who can still be among the league’s elite receivers. Yet no team has even been interested in working him out. The bad far outweigh the good when it comes to Eldorado. Jerry Rice who is arguably the best to ever play the position (and the best to ever play the game in some people’s opinion) played until he was forty-two, yet Eldorado who is in better shape than Rice ever was and is still faster than Rice could have ever dreamed of being is virtually unemployable at the age of 38. The difference is that Jerry Rice never caused issues in the locker room, while Eldorado has the reputation of being the worst teammate in the history of professional sports. This reputation is also affecting him off the field because he is yet to receive a lucrative network job to be an NFL analyst. Most great players are assured of these coveted positions, if they want them. Even Jerry Rice has gotten an analyst position, even though he has yet to learn the English language. This proves that no one is willing to hire Eldorado and risk him destroying the chemistry in the workplace.
This is really a sad story, and the very embodiment or the saying, “You reap what you sow.” Eldorado’s past has come back to bite him and he is in a terrible predicament with very few options. I don’t wish any ill will to anyone, so I sincerely hope that Eldorado’s fortunes take a turn for the better. However, if they don’t, he could always marry and divorce Kobe Bryant. That seems to be an extremely lucrative business at the moment.
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Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 14, 2012
DING, ROUND 2!
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This week I decided to shake things up and have a guest blogger. Please welcome to keyboard, ATLANTA FALCONS STAR QUARTERBACK, MATT RYAN! (cue the applause).
Actually, I’m still writing this week’s blog, but I am going by the name Matt Ryan due to my terrible performance last week (in picking games). I hold athletes accountable for their poor performances (as you will read below with my review of Ike Taylor), so I must hold myself to this same standard. I was 1-3 last week. I picked Cincinnati over Houston, which didn’t quite work out.. I also picked Detroit over New Orleans, which proved not to be the best decision that I’ve ever made. The Giants did smash the Ryan-led Falcons, in the most boring playoff game I’ve seen in years. I did get that one right. The Broncos shocked the world and beat the Steelers. I definitely didn’t see that one coming, but somehow two of my homeboys did (shout out to Scott and Marty). This boys and girls is why you do not bet on the NFL. It is so unpredictable. Anything can literally happen on any given Sunday. Who would have ever thought that Tim Tebow beat the Steelers and pass for more yards did I did in my loss to the Giants (remember I’m Matt Ryan this week)? I’m still in disbelief that TJ Yates won a playoff game before ME!
As any good cornerback should do, I must now put last week’s bad picks behind me and look forward to the next week. The next week is now here, and these are my picks for Round 2 of NFL playoff action. I promise to do better this time.
Saints vs. 49ers
This is a very difficult game to pick for two reasons. First of all, the 49ers have arguably the best quarterback in the NFL in Alex Smith. OK, I’m lying; I couldn’t even type that with a straight face.
All jokes aside, there are really two reasons that this is a tough game to pick. First of all, the Saints are playing on the road. They were undefeated at home this season, but they did lose 3 road games. The loss they suffered in Green Bay is respectable. However, losses to the Rams and Buccaneers are just unacceptable. Secondly, this game will be hard to pick because both defenses have the ability to make the other offense one-dimensional. The 49ers have the best run defense in the NFL. Now some of you are saying, “So what, the Saints don’t really run the ball anyway.” I agree with that, but it is one thing to decide that you want to pass, and another thing to be told that you aren’t allowed to run. On the other side, the 49er’s really won’t be able to pass the ball well because Alex Smith will see so many blitzes that he is going to remember why he is mentioned in the conversation when you talk about worst-ever number one picks (he’s in the conversation, but JaMarcus Russell has long ended that debate). Until I sat down to write this blog entry, I was under the belief that I would be picking the Saints. However, after thinking about it, while writing this, I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND!
While the Saints will undoubtedly blitz like Rex Ryan is running their defense, I feel as though the 49er’s regular offense, also known as the Hide the Fact that Alex Smith Sucks offense is actually the perfect offense to run against a blitzing team. I seriously doubt that the 49er’s attempt more than 20 passes. Of those 20, 12 of them will go to either backs or tight ends. They will play a very conservative offense, and lull the Saints defense to sleep. We will see a lot of Frank Gore and Kendall Hunter in this game. New Orleans will eventually start gambling on defense and Drew Brees will attempt some passes that he shouldn’t, which will allow the 49er’s to take advantage of the Saints’ mistakes. Word on the street is that the Saints will win this game rather easily. However, word in my home-office is that the 49ers will pull the UPSET! Bottom line, I don’t think the Saints have enough “goons” on their team to win a road playoff game. Two things travel well in the NFL, great defense and a strong running game. The Saints don’t have either. I think the Saints are just a tad bit too soft to win this game on the road.
Prediction: 49ers 27 – Saints 20
Broncos vs. Patriots
Last week, I thought the Broncos had no shot in (the place that Tim Tebow is trying to prevent us all from going), and I was wrong. As they have this entire season, the stars aligned perfectly for Denver to pull the upset. Pittsburgh played without their starting running back and free safety. Their starting nose tackle, defensive end, and one of the starting outside linebackers were all injured during the game. It didn’t end there. Their starting quarterback was also playing on one leg (because they thought that it would be a good idea for him to play against Cleveland instead of healing up for the playoff, which was STUPID). I am not making excuses for the Steelers, I am just pointing out what happened to make Denver’s task easier. These types of weird things have been happening all year for team-Tebow. However, boys and girls, this is where the magic stops. While the Patriots defense is nowhere near as good as the Steelers defense when you compare talent, I fully expect them to be smarter than the Steelers were last week. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that Demaryius Thomas (a.k.a Ike Taylor Sr.) will see double coverage. I am also going to guess that New England will keep a safety back and force Tebow to lead his team on long drives, which he has proven to be virtually incapable of. The Denver story has been fascinating this season, but they are going to play against a team that will simply score to many points for their limited offense to match. I am by no means a Patriots fan, but I do know that they are going to win this game.
Prediction: Patriots 35 – Broncos 17
Texans vs. Ravens
I don’t think Ball So Hard University was on North Carolina’s schedule when TJ Yates was the quarterback there. Therefore he never crossed paths with their most famous alum, Sizzle a.k.a. Terrell Suggs. Needless to say, they will get to know each other pretty well on Sunday. I fully expect the Ravens to focus on stopping Arian Foster and force TJ to look like the rookie quarterback that he is. Once he has Suggs and Haloti Ngata breathing down his back, he will suddenly feel the urge to get rid of the ball as fast as possible. This will result in a good day for Ed Reed. I look for Reed to have more receptions than Andre Johnson in this game. On the other side of the ball, Ray Rice is simply impossible to stop. The attention that the Texans must pay him will lead to opportunities for Shane Falco to go deep and connect with Tory Smith, all while Anquon Boldin draws most of their secondary’s attention. Texans fans may not want to hear this, but I honestly feel as though there will be a Jake Delhomme sighting in this game when Yates is either knocked out of the game or pulled for ineffective play.
Prediction: Ravens 31 – Texans 20
Giants vs. Packers
There are two teams in this tournament capable of beating the Packers. The Saints are one of them, but since they will be taken out by the 49ers (read above), they won’t have the opportunity. The other team is the Giants. The Giants have a good quarterback as well as a good group of receivers, which allows them to put points on the board. Their defensive line is among the best in football, which allows them to pressure the opposing QB without blitzing. They will definitely push the Packers to the limit on Sunday. However, their secondary is somewhat suspect, and they do not run the ball particularly well. Aaron Rodgers will pick their secondary apart with the embarrassment of riches at his disposal at the skill positions. Running the ball will also be important because the best way to stop the Packers from scoring is to keep their offense on the sideline. This season, Bradshaw and Jacobs (the softest big back in NFL history) have under-performed. Therefore a lot of pressure has been put on Eli to carry the offense. He is definitely capable of doing so, but he is almost equally capable of throwing the big interception. I view Eli Manning as “Tony Romo with a ring”. Meaning that he has all of the talent in the world, but you never know when he is going to do something incredibly stupid. This will be a close game, but with the return of Greg Jennings, the Packers will simply have to many offensive weapons. Once again Aaron Rodgers will make people remember why Green Bay was glad to push Favre out the door to get him on the field as he leads them to another playoff victory.
Prediction: Packers 38 – Giants 35
And now for my Baller & Scrub of the Week….
BALLER – Ike Taylor’s Daddy (Demaryius Thomas is his Government Name): One of my friends hit me up this week and said, “I am tired of hearing about Tebow every time I turn on ESPN.” My reply to him was, “You have two choices, either stop watching ESPN or kill yourself, because the Tim Tebow attention is not going away anytime soon.” Fortunately he has cable and was able to turn the channel. I just went to his wedding, I am not ready to go to his funeral as well. I mention that story because, unlike the mainstream sports media, I am going to give credit to the person who really deserves it for Denver winning that game. Tim Tebow passed for 316 yards in the game against Pittsburgh, which is commendable. However, his 48% completion rate is not. Of those 316 yards, 204 were to Demaryius Thomas. Also, if memory serves me correctly, 204 of Thomas’ 204 yards were against his son, Ike Taylor. I was tempted to call DFACS because where I’m from that’s child abuse. He even hit him with a mean stiff arm on the overtime reception to win the game. For those that don’t follow football closely, a stiff arm is essentially a punch in the face. It’s one thing to discipline your child, but punching them in the face, that’s a bit much. However, I do have to wonder about the ethics of Denver fans, because he punched his kid in the face in front of approximately 76,000 people, yet no one snitched. No offense to Tebow, but it’s about time Thomas got some credit for his contributions to that huge victory as well.
SCRUB – Ike Taylor: Matt Ryan had this award locked up, until the late game started last Sunday. That’s when Mr. Taylor decided that he deserved it more. Ike Taylor said that he is an elite cornerback. Ike Taylor also said that he should have made the Pro Bowl over Champ Bailey. It’s time for Ike Taylor to look into a mirror and tell Ike Taylor that he is a damn lie. To borrow an analogy once used by LeBron James when comparing himself to DeShawn Stevenson; Damaryius Thomas is Jay-Z while Ike Taylor is Soulja Boy. I think all of the kids that live in Taylor’s neighborhood to should come to his house dressed as Demaryius Thomas next Halloween. I’m pretty sure that will scare the crap out of him. I’m also pretty sure that they won’t be getting any candy.
This week I decided to shake things up and have a guest blogger. Please welcome to keyboard, ATLANTA FALCONS STAR QUARTERBACK, MATT RYAN! (cue the applause).
Actually, I’m still writing this week’s blog, but I am going by the name Matt Ryan due to my terrible performance last week (in picking games). I hold athletes accountable for their poor performances (as you will read below with my review of Ike Taylor), so I must hold myself to this same standard. I was 1-3 last week. I picked Cincinnati over Houston, which didn’t quite work out.. I also picked Detroit over New Orleans, which proved not to be the best decision that I’ve ever made. The Giants did smash the Ryan-led Falcons, in the most boring playoff game I’ve seen in years. I did get that one right. The Broncos shocked the world and beat the Steelers. I definitely didn’t see that one coming, but somehow two of my homeboys did (shout out to Scott and Marty). This boys and girls is why you do not bet on the NFL. It is so unpredictable. Anything can literally happen on any given Sunday. Who would have ever thought that Tim Tebow beat the Steelers and pass for more yards did I did in my loss to the Giants (remember I’m Matt Ryan this week)? I’m still in disbelief that TJ Yates won a playoff game before ME!
As any good cornerback should do, I must now put last week’s bad picks behind me and look forward to the next week. The next week is now here, and these are my picks for Round 2 of NFL playoff action. I promise to do better this time.
Saints vs. 49ers
This is a very difficult game to pick for two reasons. First of all, the 49ers have arguably the best quarterback in the NFL in Alex Smith. OK, I’m lying; I couldn’t even type that with a straight face.
All jokes aside, there are really two reasons that this is a tough game to pick. First of all, the Saints are playing on the road. They were undefeated at home this season, but they did lose 3 road games. The loss they suffered in Green Bay is respectable. However, losses to the Rams and Buccaneers are just unacceptable. Secondly, this game will be hard to pick because both defenses have the ability to make the other offense one-dimensional. The 49ers have the best run defense in the NFL. Now some of you are saying, “So what, the Saints don’t really run the ball anyway.” I agree with that, but it is one thing to decide that you want to pass, and another thing to be told that you aren’t allowed to run. On the other side, the 49er’s really won’t be able to pass the ball well because Alex Smith will see so many blitzes that he is going to remember why he is mentioned in the conversation when you talk about worst-ever number one picks (he’s in the conversation, but JaMarcus Russell has long ended that debate). Until I sat down to write this blog entry, I was under the belief that I would be picking the Saints. However, after thinking about it, while writing this, I HAVE CHANGED MY MIND!
While the Saints will undoubtedly blitz like Rex Ryan is running their defense, I feel as though the 49er’s regular offense, also known as the Hide the Fact that Alex Smith Sucks offense is actually the perfect offense to run against a blitzing team. I seriously doubt that the 49er’s attempt more than 20 passes. Of those 20, 12 of them will go to either backs or tight ends. They will play a very conservative offense, and lull the Saints defense to sleep. We will see a lot of Frank Gore and Kendall Hunter in this game. New Orleans will eventually start gambling on defense and Drew Brees will attempt some passes that he shouldn’t, which will allow the 49er’s to take advantage of the Saints’ mistakes. Word on the street is that the Saints will win this game rather easily. However, word in my home-office is that the 49ers will pull the UPSET! Bottom line, I don’t think the Saints have enough “goons” on their team to win a road playoff game. Two things travel well in the NFL, great defense and a strong running game. The Saints don’t have either. I think the Saints are just a tad bit too soft to win this game on the road.
Prediction: 49ers 27 – Saints 20
Broncos vs. Patriots
Last week, I thought the Broncos had no shot in (the place that Tim Tebow is trying to prevent us all from going), and I was wrong. As they have this entire season, the stars aligned perfectly for Denver to pull the upset. Pittsburgh played without their starting running back and free safety. Their starting nose tackle, defensive end, and one of the starting outside linebackers were all injured during the game. It didn’t end there. Their starting quarterback was also playing on one leg (because they thought that it would be a good idea for him to play against Cleveland instead of healing up for the playoff, which was STUPID). I am not making excuses for the Steelers, I am just pointing out what happened to make Denver’s task easier. These types of weird things have been happening all year for team-Tebow. However, boys and girls, this is where the magic stops. While the Patriots defense is nowhere near as good as the Steelers defense when you compare talent, I fully expect them to be smarter than the Steelers were last week. I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that Demaryius Thomas (a.k.a Ike Taylor Sr.) will see double coverage. I am also going to guess that New England will keep a safety back and force Tebow to lead his team on long drives, which he has proven to be virtually incapable of. The Denver story has been fascinating this season, but they are going to play against a team that will simply score to many points for their limited offense to match. I am by no means a Patriots fan, but I do know that they are going to win this game.
Prediction: Patriots 35 – Broncos 17
Texans vs. Ravens
I don’t think Ball So Hard University was on North Carolina’s schedule when TJ Yates was the quarterback there. Therefore he never crossed paths with their most famous alum, Sizzle a.k.a. Terrell Suggs. Needless to say, they will get to know each other pretty well on Sunday. I fully expect the Ravens to focus on stopping Arian Foster and force TJ to look like the rookie quarterback that he is. Once he has Suggs and Haloti Ngata breathing down his back, he will suddenly feel the urge to get rid of the ball as fast as possible. This will result in a good day for Ed Reed. I look for Reed to have more receptions than Andre Johnson in this game. On the other side of the ball, Ray Rice is simply impossible to stop. The attention that the Texans must pay him will lead to opportunities for Shane Falco to go deep and connect with Tory Smith, all while Anquon Boldin draws most of their secondary’s attention. Texans fans may not want to hear this, but I honestly feel as though there will be a Jake Delhomme sighting in this game when Yates is either knocked out of the game or pulled for ineffective play.
Prediction: Ravens 31 – Texans 20
Giants vs. Packers
There are two teams in this tournament capable of beating the Packers. The Saints are one of them, but since they will be taken out by the 49ers (read above), they won’t have the opportunity. The other team is the Giants. The Giants have a good quarterback as well as a good group of receivers, which allows them to put points on the board. Their defensive line is among the best in football, which allows them to pressure the opposing QB without blitzing. They will definitely push the Packers to the limit on Sunday. However, their secondary is somewhat suspect, and they do not run the ball particularly well. Aaron Rodgers will pick their secondary apart with the embarrassment of riches at his disposal at the skill positions. Running the ball will also be important because the best way to stop the Packers from scoring is to keep their offense on the sideline. This season, Bradshaw and Jacobs (the softest big back in NFL history) have under-performed. Therefore a lot of pressure has been put on Eli to carry the offense. He is definitely capable of doing so, but he is almost equally capable of throwing the big interception. I view Eli Manning as “Tony Romo with a ring”. Meaning that he has all of the talent in the world, but you never know when he is going to do something incredibly stupid. This will be a close game, but with the return of Greg Jennings, the Packers will simply have to many offensive weapons. Once again Aaron Rodgers will make people remember why Green Bay was glad to push Favre out the door to get him on the field as he leads them to another playoff victory.
Prediction: Packers 38 – Giants 35
And now for my Baller & Scrub of the Week….
BALLER – Ike Taylor’s Daddy (Demaryius Thomas is his Government Name): One of my friends hit me up this week and said, “I am tired of hearing about Tebow every time I turn on ESPN.” My reply to him was, “You have two choices, either stop watching ESPN or kill yourself, because the Tim Tebow attention is not going away anytime soon.” Fortunately he has cable and was able to turn the channel. I just went to his wedding, I am not ready to go to his funeral as well. I mention that story because, unlike the mainstream sports media, I am going to give credit to the person who really deserves it for Denver winning that game. Tim Tebow passed for 316 yards in the game against Pittsburgh, which is commendable. However, his 48% completion rate is not. Of those 316 yards, 204 were to Demaryius Thomas. Also, if memory serves me correctly, 204 of Thomas’ 204 yards were against his son, Ike Taylor. I was tempted to call DFACS because where I’m from that’s child abuse. He even hit him with a mean stiff arm on the overtime reception to win the game. For those that don’t follow football closely, a stiff arm is essentially a punch in the face. It’s one thing to discipline your child, but punching them in the face, that’s a bit much. However, I do have to wonder about the ethics of Denver fans, because he punched his kid in the face in front of approximately 76,000 people, yet no one snitched. No offense to Tebow, but it’s about time Thomas got some credit for his contributions to that huge victory as well.
SCRUB – Ike Taylor: Matt Ryan had this award locked up, until the late game started last Sunday. That’s when Mr. Taylor decided that he deserved it more. Ike Taylor said that he is an elite cornerback. Ike Taylor also said that he should have made the Pro Bowl over Champ Bailey. It’s time for Ike Taylor to look into a mirror and tell Ike Taylor that he is a damn lie. To borrow an analogy once used by LeBron James when comparing himself to DeShawn Stevenson; Damaryius Thomas is Jay-Z while Ike Taylor is Soulja Boy. I think all of the kids that live in Taylor’s neighborhood to should come to his house dressed as Demaryius Thomas next Halloween. I’m pretty sure that will scare the crap out of him. I’m also pretty sure that they won’t be getting any candy.
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Saturday, January 7, 2012
MY FAVORITE TIME OF YEAR!
Follow me on twitter @scashhomey
For my money, NFL players are the most insane athletes in all of sports. They play a sport which puts their body through the equivalent of several car accidents on a weekly basis. These players endure concussions, broken bones, torn ligaments, dislocated extremities, and an assortment of various sprains, bumps, and bruises to provide entertainment for people like me and you. (This next statement is extremely hypocritical, but it’s my honest opinion). Football is the dumbest sport ever created. Sometimes while watching a game, I ask myself, “What type of sick individual came up with this sport?” I really wonder who was sitting home one day and decided to place people on two different teams and give them a funny shaped ball (which isn’t nearly as cool as the big red all-purpose ball from elementary school) and tell one team to try to get to a goal and tell the other team to prevent them from getting there by any means necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I love this sport (particularly the NFL) much more than any other sport, and I am forever grateful to the players that play it for providing me with 21 weeks of the best entertainment in the world each and every year. That being said, I think each and every one of them are clinically insane for playing a sport that will undoubtedly affect their quality of life at some point.
Players arrive at training camp each summer with two things on their mind. Number one is money. Every NFL player is always trying to get a new contract, justify their current contract, or rob their team blind by getting paid as much as possible for producing absolutely nothing (shoutout to JaMarcus Russell). Once they are done thinking about their current or future financial situation, their attention moves to the second thing on their mind, trying to win a championship. All 32 teams begin training camp focused on being one of the 12 remaining at the end of the season that earns the opportunity to compete in the playoffs for a trip to the Super Bowl. Players on the 20 non-playoff teams try their best to cope with the fact that they simply weren’t good enough.
The top four playoff teams all have a bye, which lets them rest up for a week before hosting the winners of this week’s wild card games. Who will win this week’s games? I’m glad you asked, because I now present to you, my picks for all four of this weekend’s games.
Bengals vs. Texans
For the first time in franchise history, the Houston Texans will be playing a playoff game. Also for the first time in franchise history, the Houston Texans will lose a playoff game. If Matt Schaub were healthy and playing in this game, I would pick the Texans in a rout. If I had any confidence in Andre Johnsons hamstring that forced him to sit out nine games this season, I would pick the Texans in a close game. However, Matt Schaub is out and no one knows if Johnson will be able to finish the game. The Texans will be starting rookie TJ Yates, and his back-up will be everyone’s favorite interception machine, Jake Delhomme. The Texans will still be able to run the ball relatively well, but I feel as though the Bengals simply have the better team. This will be a low scoring game because both teams have really good defenses and will be starting rookie quarterbacks. Cincinnati has the better of the two rookie QB’s in Andy Dalton. He also has AJ Greene (the skinny Andre Johnson) to throw to, which means that they will have the ability to make the big play when it is needed in the fourth quarter. Cedric Benson, the most consistently mediocre running back in the NFL, will have his typical 84 yard rushing day with no touchdowns.
Prediction: Bengals 17 – Texans 13
Falcons vs. Giants
These are two very evenly matched teams. This should be a very good football game, with the outcome decided late. I really feel bad for both Eli Manning and Matt Ryan in this game, because they both play behind somewhat suspect offensive lines, and will be facing ferocious pass rushers in John Abraham (Falcons), Justin Tuck (Giants), and Jason Pierre-Paul (Giants). Fortunately for the Falcons they have a strong running back in Michael Turner. Unfortunately for the Falcons, their offensive coordinator (Mike Mularkey) often forgets that Michael Turner is a member of the team. They simply don’t run the ball enough, and I fully expect that trend to continue on Sunday. If this game were being played in Atlanta, I would definitely pick the Falcons. However, this game will take place in New York, which means one thing. Matt Ryan will play like crap. Ryan has lost 19 games in his four years as the QB of the Falcons. Of those 19 losses, 15 of them have been on the road. He simply can’t be trusted outside of 285. Since this game is taking place waaaaaaaaaaay outside of 285, and I simply don’t trust the Falcons offensive line against the Giants defensive, I will be taking the Giants to win this game.
Prediction: Giants 28 – Falcons 24
Steelers vs. Broncos
The fact that the Denver Broncos will be playing against a ferocious defense with a quarterback who is yet to master the forward pass will be a big problem. That is all that is necessary to say about this game.
Prediction: Steelers 24 – Broncos 9
Lions vs. Saints
I intentionally saved this game for last for two reasons. First of all, this is the GAME OF THE WEEK! This game will have offensive stars all over the field. On one side you have Drew Brees who is at the top of his game. His receivers aren’t household names to the casual football fan, but they don’t have to be because his passes are so accurate that they can’t avoid catching it. Even when he misses, he doesn’t miss. His passing skills are the polar opposite of the quarterback that I didn’t mention in the previous paragraph. On the opposite sideline, you will find Matthew Stafford, who threw for over 5,000 yards and 41 touchdowns this season. While Brees spreads the ball around and throws to whoever happens to be open on a particular play, Stafford has been blessed with a receiver that he can throw to whether he is open or not. He goes by the name of Calvin Johnson, a.k.a. The Best Receiver in the League. If you like, you can also start calling him by his newest nickname which he will begin answering to at some point during this off-season when he gets a new contract. That would be Really Rich Black Man. These are two prolific offenses that can and will score on anybody. Therefore, this game will be decided by the defenses. Don’t get me wrong, both teams will score at least 30 and quite possibly 40 points, but one defense will make just enough plays to force the other team to punt more than once, which will be the difference in this game. That being said, the second reason that I chose to discuss this game last is because, it is my UPSET SPECIAL! Detroit has a ferocious pass-rush, and a defense that has a knack for creating turnovers. Therefore, I have more faith in them to make a big play than I do the Saints defense. This will be a high-scoring game that will be fun to watch. I fully expect both defenses to play relatively well, but the offenses are simply better than the defenses in this matchup. This game is scheduled for an 8:20 pm kickoff on Saturday night. Since both teams will throw the ball at least 40 times, and there will be a lot of scoring, expect this game to run to around midnight. Make sure you have plenty of Yuengling (root beer for all of the underage people reading this) is in the fridge, and sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
Prediction: Lions 41 – Saints 35
LSU vs. Alabama
You are probably saying to yourself, “This is a college game, why is it included in the blog about the NFL playoffs?” That would be a good question to ask, if this was actually a college football game. This is actually a NFL game; the players simply aren’t old enough for it to be official. Therefore, they will be representing academic institutions instead. As you all know, I am not a big college football fan. I mostly just watch to see future NFL prospects, which I mostly do through watching clips online so that I won’t have to sit through entire games. Much like the first time they met earlier this season, I will be glued to the television to see this extremely high level of defensive football (which I love) played by clearly the two best college teams in the nation. I look for this to be yet another slug-fest that will be won by the team that scores a non-offensive touchdown. Points will be at a premium in this game, and both teams will certainly play it close to the vest offensively and let it all hang out on the defensive side of the ball. I am convinced that Les Miles has the great Nick Satan (sorry, I meant Saban, I said I was going to stop calling him that) shook. The last time they met, Satan (oops!) sent out both of Alabama’s kickers to attempt a total of three field goals of more than 40 yards. Note to Saban (I got it that time), the vast majority of college kickers are not consistently capable of making field goals longer than 35 yards. The two or three that can, are usually the two are three that get drafted into the NFL each year. Also after watching the first game against LSU, it is clear that you don’t have one of those two or three special kickers. LSU on the other hand, does have one of those special kickers.
The last time they met, LSU used two quarterbacks. They tried to do the politically correct thing and “punish” their real starting quarterback for his participation in an off-season bar fight, by starting his backup. The backup was good enough to have them undefeated leading up to the Bama game, but was clearly overmatched by the Ravens, I mean Crimson Tide defense. Therefore they decided that it’s not a good idea to punish a good player when a game is actually on the line. The fact that this game will decide the National Championship and undoubtedly lead to an even bigger contract for the winning coach, means that the choir boys will be left on the sidelines, and that all previous off-field transgressions will be ignored. Although both teams have really good offenses (against all other opponents), the defenses will again decide the winner of this game. LSU’s defense is simply better. Although Alabama’s defense is statistically better, against a significantly weaker schedule, anyone who has seen these two teams play can clearly see that LSU’s defense is slightly better. That is why the Tigers will be victorious. The good thing for Crimson Tide fans is that Satan (I knew it wouldn’t last) will only attempt one stupid field goal. It will be on the last play of the game with a chance to send it to overtime. Once again, the kicker will miss from 42 yards out and give LSU the victory.
Prediction: LSU 17 – Alabama 14
And now for my Baller & Scrub of the Week….
BALLER – Charles Barkley’s K-12 English Teachers: This award only goes to his K-12 English teachers because I am pretty sure he didn’t go to class regularly at Auburn. Although they taught him very little, if anything at all, Barkley’s English teachers instilled in him a confidence that totally overrides the fact that he speaks on a third grade level. Don’t get me wrong, Barkley is extremely entertaining as a commentator, and I thoroughly enjoy his knowledge of the game, honesty, and comedic presence. However, I also acknowledge that approximately 60% of the things that come out of his mouth are either mispronounced or simply aren’t words. My favorite word to hear him say is athletic. Yes it seems like a basic word to me and you, but Barkley manages to add both an extra “a”, and an extra syllable. So ath-let-ic to me and you is equal to ath-a-let-ic in the mind of Barkley. Once again shoutout to his English teachers for giving him the confidence needed to make a living by speaking, when he can hardly speak the English language.
SCRUB – Greg McElroy: I could write an entire blog about this idiot. It would be titled, “Scrub Speaks: The Quickest Way Out of the NFL.” If you don’t follow Alabama football, live in the state of Alabama, or your last name is McElroy as well, there is a good chance that you have no idea who this guy is. Greg McElroy is the 4th string quarterback of the NY Jets, who was a seventh round draft pick last year, and spent all season on injured reserve. To sum it up, I bet if you asked every member of the Jets if they knew he was on the team, 75% would say NO! The bottom line is in the world of the NFL, he is a nobody. After the Jets season ended in a disastrous fashion, McElroy took it upon himself to channel his inner-Rex Ryan and run his mouth to the media. He appeared on a radio show and basically said (I am paraphrasing) that the Jets were a team full of selfish individuals, that didn’t care if they won or loss. He also said that the players didn’t care about the team and that they were out for themselves. He went on to say that he had never been around such selfish individuals.
I am not in that locker room, so I really can’t attest to the accuracy of McElroy’s comments. If I were a betting man (which I am not), I would bet that he was dead on. I totally believe everything that he said. The problem with his comments is that THEY WERE MADE BY GREG McELROY! He is a player that can be out of the league if Rex Ryan simply allows Darrelle Revis to have two lockers in the locker room instead of one. He does not matter, and chances are when the Jets cut him (which they certainly will) no other team will bother picking him up. He will then have enough free time to persue his true dream job, talking on the radio. He may even get his own show.
Michael Vick and Plaxico Burress can spend time in jail and still get signed by teams. Rashard Mendenhall can make idiotic statements about 9/11, and not get cut. Terrell Owens could curse out coaches, openly question the sexuality of a teammate, and destroy team chemistry at nearly every turn, and still have a roster spot (when he was healthy). Greg McElroy can be cut for buying Krispy Kreme doughnuts for his teammates when the light wasn’t on, so for airing out the team’s dirty laundry on a radio show, he definitely WILL be cut. WHAT AN IDIOT!
Follow me on twitter @scashhomey
For my money, NFL players are the most insane athletes in all of sports. They play a sport which puts their body through the equivalent of several car accidents on a weekly basis. These players endure concussions, broken bones, torn ligaments, dislocated extremities, and an assortment of various sprains, bumps, and bruises to provide entertainment for people like me and you. (This next statement is extremely hypocritical, but it’s my honest opinion). Football is the dumbest sport ever created. Sometimes while watching a game, I ask myself, “What type of sick individual came up with this sport?” I really wonder who was sitting home one day and decided to place people on two different teams and give them a funny shaped ball (which isn’t nearly as cool as the big red all-purpose ball from elementary school) and tell one team to try to get to a goal and tell the other team to prevent them from getting there by any means necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I love this sport (particularly the NFL) much more than any other sport, and I am forever grateful to the players that play it for providing me with 21 weeks of the best entertainment in the world each and every year. That being said, I think each and every one of them are clinically insane for playing a sport that will undoubtedly affect their quality of life at some point.
Players arrive at training camp each summer with two things on their mind. Number one is money. Every NFL player is always trying to get a new contract, justify their current contract, or rob their team blind by getting paid as much as possible for producing absolutely nothing (shoutout to JaMarcus Russell). Once they are done thinking about their current or future financial situation, their attention moves to the second thing on their mind, trying to win a championship. All 32 teams begin training camp focused on being one of the 12 remaining at the end of the season that earns the opportunity to compete in the playoffs for a trip to the Super Bowl. Players on the 20 non-playoff teams try their best to cope with the fact that they simply weren’t good enough.
The top four playoff teams all have a bye, which lets them rest up for a week before hosting the winners of this week’s wild card games. Who will win this week’s games? I’m glad you asked, because I now present to you, my picks for all four of this weekend’s games.
Bengals vs. Texans
For the first time in franchise history, the Houston Texans will be playing a playoff game. Also for the first time in franchise history, the Houston Texans will lose a playoff game. If Matt Schaub were healthy and playing in this game, I would pick the Texans in a rout. If I had any confidence in Andre Johnsons hamstring that forced him to sit out nine games this season, I would pick the Texans in a close game. However, Matt Schaub is out and no one knows if Johnson will be able to finish the game. The Texans will be starting rookie TJ Yates, and his back-up will be everyone’s favorite interception machine, Jake Delhomme. The Texans will still be able to run the ball relatively well, but I feel as though the Bengals simply have the better team. This will be a low scoring game because both teams have really good defenses and will be starting rookie quarterbacks. Cincinnati has the better of the two rookie QB’s in Andy Dalton. He also has AJ Greene (the skinny Andre Johnson) to throw to, which means that they will have the ability to make the big play when it is needed in the fourth quarter. Cedric Benson, the most consistently mediocre running back in the NFL, will have his typical 84 yard rushing day with no touchdowns.
Prediction: Bengals 17 – Texans 13
Falcons vs. Giants
These are two very evenly matched teams. This should be a very good football game, with the outcome decided late. I really feel bad for both Eli Manning and Matt Ryan in this game, because they both play behind somewhat suspect offensive lines, and will be facing ferocious pass rushers in John Abraham (Falcons), Justin Tuck (Giants), and Jason Pierre-Paul (Giants). Fortunately for the Falcons they have a strong running back in Michael Turner. Unfortunately for the Falcons, their offensive coordinator (Mike Mularkey) often forgets that Michael Turner is a member of the team. They simply don’t run the ball enough, and I fully expect that trend to continue on Sunday. If this game were being played in Atlanta, I would definitely pick the Falcons. However, this game will take place in New York, which means one thing. Matt Ryan will play like crap. Ryan has lost 19 games in his four years as the QB of the Falcons. Of those 19 losses, 15 of them have been on the road. He simply can’t be trusted outside of 285. Since this game is taking place waaaaaaaaaaay outside of 285, and I simply don’t trust the Falcons offensive line against the Giants defensive, I will be taking the Giants to win this game.
Prediction: Giants 28 – Falcons 24
Steelers vs. Broncos
The fact that the Denver Broncos will be playing against a ferocious defense with a quarterback who is yet to master the forward pass will be a big problem. That is all that is necessary to say about this game.
Prediction: Steelers 24 – Broncos 9
Lions vs. Saints
I intentionally saved this game for last for two reasons. First of all, this is the GAME OF THE WEEK! This game will have offensive stars all over the field. On one side you have Drew Brees who is at the top of his game. His receivers aren’t household names to the casual football fan, but they don’t have to be because his passes are so accurate that they can’t avoid catching it. Even when he misses, he doesn’t miss. His passing skills are the polar opposite of the quarterback that I didn’t mention in the previous paragraph. On the opposite sideline, you will find Matthew Stafford, who threw for over 5,000 yards and 41 touchdowns this season. While Brees spreads the ball around and throws to whoever happens to be open on a particular play, Stafford has been blessed with a receiver that he can throw to whether he is open or not. He goes by the name of Calvin Johnson, a.k.a. The Best Receiver in the League. If you like, you can also start calling him by his newest nickname which he will begin answering to at some point during this off-season when he gets a new contract. That would be Really Rich Black Man. These are two prolific offenses that can and will score on anybody. Therefore, this game will be decided by the defenses. Don’t get me wrong, both teams will score at least 30 and quite possibly 40 points, but one defense will make just enough plays to force the other team to punt more than once, which will be the difference in this game. That being said, the second reason that I chose to discuss this game last is because, it is my UPSET SPECIAL! Detroit has a ferocious pass-rush, and a defense that has a knack for creating turnovers. Therefore, I have more faith in them to make a big play than I do the Saints defense. This will be a high-scoring game that will be fun to watch. I fully expect both defenses to play relatively well, but the offenses are simply better than the defenses in this matchup. This game is scheduled for an 8:20 pm kickoff on Saturday night. Since both teams will throw the ball at least 40 times, and there will be a lot of scoring, expect this game to run to around midnight. Make sure you have plenty of Yuengling (root beer for all of the underage people reading this) is in the fridge, and sit back, relax and enjoy the show.
Prediction: Lions 41 – Saints 35
LSU vs. Alabama
You are probably saying to yourself, “This is a college game, why is it included in the blog about the NFL playoffs?” That would be a good question to ask, if this was actually a college football game. This is actually a NFL game; the players simply aren’t old enough for it to be official. Therefore, they will be representing academic institutions instead. As you all know, I am not a big college football fan. I mostly just watch to see future NFL prospects, which I mostly do through watching clips online so that I won’t have to sit through entire games. Much like the first time they met earlier this season, I will be glued to the television to see this extremely high level of defensive football (which I love) played by clearly the two best college teams in the nation. I look for this to be yet another slug-fest that will be won by the team that scores a non-offensive touchdown. Points will be at a premium in this game, and both teams will certainly play it close to the vest offensively and let it all hang out on the defensive side of the ball. I am convinced that Les Miles has the great Nick Satan (sorry, I meant Saban, I said I was going to stop calling him that) shook. The last time they met, Satan (oops!) sent out both of Alabama’s kickers to attempt a total of three field goals of more than 40 yards. Note to Saban (I got it that time), the vast majority of college kickers are not consistently capable of making field goals longer than 35 yards. The two or three that can, are usually the two are three that get drafted into the NFL each year. Also after watching the first game against LSU, it is clear that you don’t have one of those two or three special kickers. LSU on the other hand, does have one of those special kickers.
The last time they met, LSU used two quarterbacks. They tried to do the politically correct thing and “punish” their real starting quarterback for his participation in an off-season bar fight, by starting his backup. The backup was good enough to have them undefeated leading up to the Bama game, but was clearly overmatched by the Ravens, I mean Crimson Tide defense. Therefore they decided that it’s not a good idea to punish a good player when a game is actually on the line. The fact that this game will decide the National Championship and undoubtedly lead to an even bigger contract for the winning coach, means that the choir boys will be left on the sidelines, and that all previous off-field transgressions will be ignored. Although both teams have really good offenses (against all other opponents), the defenses will again decide the winner of this game. LSU’s defense is simply better. Although Alabama’s defense is statistically better, against a significantly weaker schedule, anyone who has seen these two teams play can clearly see that LSU’s defense is slightly better. That is why the Tigers will be victorious. The good thing for Crimson Tide fans is that Satan (I knew it wouldn’t last) will only attempt one stupid field goal. It will be on the last play of the game with a chance to send it to overtime. Once again, the kicker will miss from 42 yards out and give LSU the victory.
Prediction: LSU 17 – Alabama 14
And now for my Baller & Scrub of the Week….
BALLER – Charles Barkley’s K-12 English Teachers: This award only goes to his K-12 English teachers because I am pretty sure he didn’t go to class regularly at Auburn. Although they taught him very little, if anything at all, Barkley’s English teachers instilled in him a confidence that totally overrides the fact that he speaks on a third grade level. Don’t get me wrong, Barkley is extremely entertaining as a commentator, and I thoroughly enjoy his knowledge of the game, honesty, and comedic presence. However, I also acknowledge that approximately 60% of the things that come out of his mouth are either mispronounced or simply aren’t words. My favorite word to hear him say is athletic. Yes it seems like a basic word to me and you, but Barkley manages to add both an extra “a”, and an extra syllable. So ath-let-ic to me and you is equal to ath-a-let-ic in the mind of Barkley. Once again shoutout to his English teachers for giving him the confidence needed to make a living by speaking, when he can hardly speak the English language.
SCRUB – Greg McElroy: I could write an entire blog about this idiot. It would be titled, “Scrub Speaks: The Quickest Way Out of the NFL.” If you don’t follow Alabama football, live in the state of Alabama, or your last name is McElroy as well, there is a good chance that you have no idea who this guy is. Greg McElroy is the 4th string quarterback of the NY Jets, who was a seventh round draft pick last year, and spent all season on injured reserve. To sum it up, I bet if you asked every member of the Jets if they knew he was on the team, 75% would say NO! The bottom line is in the world of the NFL, he is a nobody. After the Jets season ended in a disastrous fashion, McElroy took it upon himself to channel his inner-Rex Ryan and run his mouth to the media. He appeared on a radio show and basically said (I am paraphrasing) that the Jets were a team full of selfish individuals, that didn’t care if they won or loss. He also said that the players didn’t care about the team and that they were out for themselves. He went on to say that he had never been around such selfish individuals.
I am not in that locker room, so I really can’t attest to the accuracy of McElroy’s comments. If I were a betting man (which I am not), I would bet that he was dead on. I totally believe everything that he said. The problem with his comments is that THEY WERE MADE BY GREG McELROY! He is a player that can be out of the league if Rex Ryan simply allows Darrelle Revis to have two lockers in the locker room instead of one. He does not matter, and chances are when the Jets cut him (which they certainly will) no other team will bother picking him up. He will then have enough free time to persue his true dream job, talking on the radio. He may even get his own show.
Michael Vick and Plaxico Burress can spend time in jail and still get signed by teams. Rashard Mendenhall can make idiotic statements about 9/11, and not get cut. Terrell Owens could curse out coaches, openly question the sexuality of a teammate, and destroy team chemistry at nearly every turn, and still have a roster spot (when he was healthy). Greg McElroy can be cut for buying Krispy Kreme doughnuts for his teammates when the light wasn’t on, so for airing out the team’s dirty laundry on a radio show, he definitely WILL be cut. WHAT AN IDIOT!
Follow me on twitter @scashhomey
Sunday, January 1, 2012
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Hello strangers and welcome back to what will soon be the best sports blog on the World Wide Web. The fact that we have been strangers lately is all my fault. After an extended hiatus from writing, I am back and better than ever. My New Year’s Resolution is to be dedicated to bringing you my commentary on the ever-eventful world of sports and to make this blog a weekly must read for everyone (watch out MMQB, I’m coming for you.)
I could spend this time reflecting over the things that took place during our time apart, but that would be no fun. Instead, I am going to turn on the recent 2chainz mixtape (yeah, I’m just as shocked as you are that I think it’s dope) and look into the future to tell you what should/will happen in 2012 in the games that we all love.
THE MIAMI HEAT WILL WIN THE NBA CHAMPIONSHIP – All of the Heat/LeBron haters might as well get over themselves. This is the year that they start their string of championships. This is a short NBA season with lots of back to back to back games, so you can pretty much eliminate all of the older teams from contention (that means you Lakers, Celtics, Spurs, and Mavericks). Russell Westbrook and his desire for a better shoe contract and more TV airtime is determined to let his jealousy of Kevin Durant destroy the Thunder’s chances (more on that later). The Clippers and Knicks are both exciting and intriguing, however they are not quite ready yet. So that pretty much leaves Memphis in the west, and Miami in the east as the primary contenders. That being said, I would like to draw your attention back to my original statement in bold letters above.
RAJON RONDO SHOULD BE TRADED FOR RUSSELL WESTBROOK – This could quite possibly be the most fair trade in NBA history. It would benefit both teams as well as both players personally. Russell Westbrook is clearly jealous of Kevin Durant and is also angry that his mom continues to buy him the Robin costume on Halloween, while Durant gets to be Batman every single year. He would love to be on a team where he can truly be a poor man’s Derrick Rose. Westbrook would like nothing more than to be the first, second, and third option on some team, regardless of whether they are regular title contenders are not. Westbrook is the classic case of the athlete who readily acknowledges that while there is indeed no “I” in team, there is definitely a “ME”. Rondo on the other hand, is the classic team first point guard who enjoys getting assists, steals, and rebounds much more than he enjoys scoring. All he cares about is winning, and making his teammates look good. Rondo has been perfect for Boston while playing with Jesus Shuttlesworth, KG, and Pierce. However, that trinity is at the end of their line and it is now time for Boston to rebuild. They will definitely need more scoring in the coming years, which simply isn’t Rondo’s game. What they need is a combo-guard who happens to play the point and enjoys shooting more than he enjoys (I’ll let you fill in your own word/phrase here). That guy currently resides in Oklahoma City. In Boston, Westbrook will get to be the center-piece of a rebuilding team, where he would be able to put up 30 shots a night. While Rondo can go to the Thunder and be the perfect person to serve beautiful assists to Kevin Durant, James Harden, and Serge Ibaka. He will instantly turn them into the only team in the league that could actually compete with the HEAT. This is one case where trading “team first” for “me first” will actually benefit everyone.
PEYTON MANNING WILL BE A JET – I am that rare NFL fan with no real loyalty or allegiance to any team(s). However, I do have favorite players. My favorite NFL player is without a doubt Peyton Manning (he is the best to ever do it in my opinion). That being said, I have obviously been partial to the Colts during his tenure there. Although it pains me to see him move on to another franchise, I know in my heart of hearts that it is time for Peyton to move on. The Colts will draft Andrew Luck (if they land the first pick) or Robert Griffith III in April’s draft, which will mean that it is time for them to move on from Manning. With the new rookie pay-scale in place, the Colts will be able to have four years of service from one of these young guns for less than they would have to pay Peyton for one season. Manning will be 36 years old when next season starts and has had multiple neck surgeries. As a franchise, you simply can’t afford to keep him in this post-JaMarcus Russell era in the NFL (where top picks are much cheaper). That being said, look for the Rex Ryan and the Jets to pay Peyton whatever he wants to become a jet. Rex wouldn’t care if Cooper Manning wanted to play wide receiver, he’d give him a uniform if it meant Peyton was coming. There are some reading this now saying, “but they already have a quarterback in Mark Sanchez.” To those people I say SLAP YOURSELF! If you thought that Minnesota’s pursuit of Favre was bad, you just wait until Rex hears that Peyton Manning is available. Once Sanchez is cut, I fully expect he and his fellow Trojan bust Matt Leinart to do a Reality TV show. I don’t know what it will be about, but that seems to be what all of the washed up celebrities do these days.
MY HOMETOWN ATLANTA HAWKS WILL NOT WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP – I just couldn’t conclude this blog without this statement. The Hawks lost Jamal Crawford this off-season and brought in Tracy McGrady (which would have been awesome 8 years ago), Jerry Stackhouse, and Jenerro Pargo. That is all I have to say about that.
And now for my Baller & Scrub of the Week….
BALLER – Metta World Peace a.k.a The Baller Formerly Known As Ron Artest: I am not a Lakers fan by any stretch of the imagination and I hate Kobe Bryant more than Gucci Mane hates his freedom. That being said, I will be watching every Lakers game that comes on television just to hear the following phrases: “World Peace for Three!”, “Great Defense by World Peace”, “The Assist to World Peace”, “Stop Shooting so Damn Much Kobe and Give World Peace a Chance!”
SCRUB – The NCAA: There are 834 bowl games inundating my television this holiday season and only two matter. The Rose Bowl (nope, not because of tradition) because Oregon’s uniforms are going to be so damn cool, and the National Championship Game because LSU and Alabama are two teams that should be playing in the AFC South and not the SEC. I’ve said it once, and I will continue saying it until it is no longer true, THE NCAA SUCKS!!!!!!!
I could spend this time reflecting over the things that took place during our time apart, but that would be no fun. Instead, I am going to turn on the recent 2chainz mixtape (yeah, I’m just as shocked as you are that I think it’s dope) and look into the future to tell you what should/will happen in 2012 in the games that we all love.
THE MIAMI HEAT WILL WIN THE NBA CHAMPIONSHIP – All of the Heat/LeBron haters might as well get over themselves. This is the year that they start their string of championships. This is a short NBA season with lots of back to back to back games, so you can pretty much eliminate all of the older teams from contention (that means you Lakers, Celtics, Spurs, and Mavericks). Russell Westbrook and his desire for a better shoe contract and more TV airtime is determined to let his jealousy of Kevin Durant destroy the Thunder’s chances (more on that later). The Clippers and Knicks are both exciting and intriguing, however they are not quite ready yet. So that pretty much leaves Memphis in the west, and Miami in the east as the primary contenders. That being said, I would like to draw your attention back to my original statement in bold letters above.
RAJON RONDO SHOULD BE TRADED FOR RUSSELL WESTBROOK – This could quite possibly be the most fair trade in NBA history. It would benefit both teams as well as both players personally. Russell Westbrook is clearly jealous of Kevin Durant and is also angry that his mom continues to buy him the Robin costume on Halloween, while Durant gets to be Batman every single year. He would love to be on a team where he can truly be a poor man’s Derrick Rose. Westbrook would like nothing more than to be the first, second, and third option on some team, regardless of whether they are regular title contenders are not. Westbrook is the classic case of the athlete who readily acknowledges that while there is indeed no “I” in team, there is definitely a “ME”. Rondo on the other hand, is the classic team first point guard who enjoys getting assists, steals, and rebounds much more than he enjoys scoring. All he cares about is winning, and making his teammates look good. Rondo has been perfect for Boston while playing with Jesus Shuttlesworth, KG, and Pierce. However, that trinity is at the end of their line and it is now time for Boston to rebuild. They will definitely need more scoring in the coming years, which simply isn’t Rondo’s game. What they need is a combo-guard who happens to play the point and enjoys shooting more than he enjoys (I’ll let you fill in your own word/phrase here). That guy currently resides in Oklahoma City. In Boston, Westbrook will get to be the center-piece of a rebuilding team, where he would be able to put up 30 shots a night. While Rondo can go to the Thunder and be the perfect person to serve beautiful assists to Kevin Durant, James Harden, and Serge Ibaka. He will instantly turn them into the only team in the league that could actually compete with the HEAT. This is one case where trading “team first” for “me first” will actually benefit everyone.
PEYTON MANNING WILL BE A JET – I am that rare NFL fan with no real loyalty or allegiance to any team(s). However, I do have favorite players. My favorite NFL player is without a doubt Peyton Manning (he is the best to ever do it in my opinion). That being said, I have obviously been partial to the Colts during his tenure there. Although it pains me to see him move on to another franchise, I know in my heart of hearts that it is time for Peyton to move on. The Colts will draft Andrew Luck (if they land the first pick) or Robert Griffith III in April’s draft, which will mean that it is time for them to move on from Manning. With the new rookie pay-scale in place, the Colts will be able to have four years of service from one of these young guns for less than they would have to pay Peyton for one season. Manning will be 36 years old when next season starts and has had multiple neck surgeries. As a franchise, you simply can’t afford to keep him in this post-JaMarcus Russell era in the NFL (where top picks are much cheaper). That being said, look for the Rex Ryan and the Jets to pay Peyton whatever he wants to become a jet. Rex wouldn’t care if Cooper Manning wanted to play wide receiver, he’d give him a uniform if it meant Peyton was coming. There are some reading this now saying, “but they already have a quarterback in Mark Sanchez.” To those people I say SLAP YOURSELF! If you thought that Minnesota’s pursuit of Favre was bad, you just wait until Rex hears that Peyton Manning is available. Once Sanchez is cut, I fully expect he and his fellow Trojan bust Matt Leinart to do a Reality TV show. I don’t know what it will be about, but that seems to be what all of the washed up celebrities do these days.
MY HOMETOWN ATLANTA HAWKS WILL NOT WIN A CHAMPIONSHIP – I just couldn’t conclude this blog without this statement. The Hawks lost Jamal Crawford this off-season and brought in Tracy McGrady (which would have been awesome 8 years ago), Jerry Stackhouse, and Jenerro Pargo. That is all I have to say about that.
And now for my Baller & Scrub of the Week….
BALLER – Metta World Peace a.k.a The Baller Formerly Known As Ron Artest: I am not a Lakers fan by any stretch of the imagination and I hate Kobe Bryant more than Gucci Mane hates his freedom. That being said, I will be watching every Lakers game that comes on television just to hear the following phrases: “World Peace for Three!”, “Great Defense by World Peace”, “The Assist to World Peace”, “Stop Shooting so Damn Much Kobe and Give World Peace a Chance!”
SCRUB – The NCAA: There are 834 bowl games inundating my television this holiday season and only two matter. The Rose Bowl (nope, not because of tradition) because Oregon’s uniforms are going to be so damn cool, and the National Championship Game because LSU and Alabama are two teams that should be playing in the AFC South and not the SEC. I’ve said it once, and I will continue saying it until it is no longer true, THE NCAA SUCKS!!!!!!!
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