Sunday, December 19, 2010

I HOPE YOU MISSED ME WHILE I WAS GONE

I would like to thank you all for taking the time to read this, this evening. You're far to kind. You could be anywhere in the world, but you’re here with me. I appreciate that. (Since I am currently reading Decoded, I’m in a Jay-Z frame of mind.)

Thanks to my educational pursuits (I have completed my MBA), it has been a while since I last posted. But the important thing is that I am back now, and I will do my best to make this blog better than ever. Since I’ve been gone, quite a bit has happened in the world of sports. Let’s discuss a few of them, shall we?


Cam Newton wins the Heisman Trophy (at least temporarily)

Many people believe that Cam Newton will eventually have to return the Heisman Trophy. I am not one of those people. That is because I don’t think they ever let him take it home. Sure they let him pose with it for lots of pictures and hold it up triumphantly after he was announced as the winner. But after the ceremony, I believe that they just asked him to leave it with them to save the return shipping, that would otherwise have to be spent when it is taken away in the near future. In my opinion he is definitely on Auburn’s payroll, because I simply refuse to believe that it was going to cost Mississippi State $180,000 for his services, but Auburn got them for free. NO CHANCE! I hate the NCAA (the most hypocritical cartel in all of sports) and I wish them nothing but the worst. Anything that makes them look bad makes me feel better, so I am enjoying all of the bad publicity that they have been receiving over this poorly handled fiasco.

That being said, I would like to explain something to all of the old school sports writers and commentators who hold the Heisman Trophy in such high regard. I have heard so many people refer to it as the most significant honor in all of sports. That may have been a true statement 30 or 40 years ago, but that is no longer the case. I am pretty sure that very few high school or college football players would list winning the Heisman Trophy as their main individual goal. Honestly, they could care less. The most significant honor in college football is now, A FIRST ROUND NFL PAYCHECK! That’s the ultimate goal, not a 25 pound bronze statue that symbolizes that you are the best volunteer football player in the entire nation (although I’m pretty sure that all of them weren’t “volunteers”.) With that in mind, don’t feel sorry for Cam Newton when his picture is removed from the walls and placed in a back room of the Downtown Athletic Club along with Reggie Bush, because they won’t be feeling bad at all. They will simply log on to their bank’s website and hit balance inquiry. At that moment they will realize that they have indeed won.


LeBron James Takes His Talents to South Beach

All of the haters can now suck on a baby’s bottle full of haterade and just stop talking. Anyone who though that Wade, Bosh, and James wouldn’t be able to play together, obviously don’t understand basketball. Let’s just put LeBron James’ otherworldly talents into perspective. He led a Cavs team that wouldn’t win the Big Ten without him to 60+ wins each of the last two seasons. He was the entire team, and the future was not going to get any brighter. He had reached his plateau there. The team was not going to improve, because with him there they were too good to get high draft picks. Also, they were never going to sign any of the top free-agents because, well….(not to offend anyone’s hometown), but it's Cleveland. I challenge anyone to name ONE top free agent in any sport that CHOSE TO PLAY IN CLEVELAND. It's simply not happening, and LeBron knew that as well. Any player that it traded to Cleveland will surely leave as soon as their contract is up. Do I think that they are going to win a championship this year? NO, because my Celtics (led by my favorite NBA player, Rajon Rondo) will. However, outside of Rondo all of the Celtics best players are a year or two away from AARP eligibility, therefore we can expect the Heat to have a nice five-year run beginning next season. In the meantime, don’t hate the man for wanting to play with better players, live in a city with better weather, and enjoy better scenery (draw your own meaning from that) while hanging out on an off day. Like I said, no disrespect to Cleveland, but it's Cleveland. I think the great bow-tie wearing NBA philosopher Joakim Noah said it best when he asked, “When was the last time someone said that they were going on vacation to Cleveland?”


Joe Johnson Becomes an Elite (at least in salary) NBA Player

You have to love free-enterprise. Only in Atlanta, can a player who has career playoff averages of 16.3 points, 3.6 assists, and 4.5 rebounds per game, and is yet to lead his team to a second round playoff win (NOT WIN A SECOND ROUND SERIES, I AM TALKING ABOUT WINNING A SECOND ROUND GAME!!!!), be rewarded with a 6-year, $119 million contract. Don’t get me wrong, these would be excellent numbers for Marvin Williams (actually I would wash Marvin Williams car if he ever performed this well, even in the pre-season), but Joe Johnson is allegedly our best player and team leader. Giving a playoff scrub this contract ranks up there with other brilliant Hawks personnel moves like trading away Dominique Wilkins for Danny Manning. This is also the franchise that at one point was paying Jon Koncak more than Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, and Larry Bird were making at the time. Now Joe Johnson is definitely a better player than Koncak, but when you look at bang for the buck, I wonder which deal was better. I wonder if they have the same agent? And if that agent has pictures of a Hawks executive riding through Buckhead with a woman other than his wife (shout-out to Damon Evans).


Andy Reid Gets Lucky

This off-season the Philadelphia Eagles traded franchise icon Donovan McNabb to make room for Kevin Kolb to become the team’s starting quarterback. Kolb was injured in his first start, which forced Reid to turn the reigns of the team over to Michael Vick. And the rest is history. There really isn’t much more to say about this, if you have been living under a rock and have missed Vick’s season (it looks like he is playing a video game and has all of the cheat codes), you will just have to clear some time and watch the highlights on YouTube. You know, I think Kolb is now 100% healthy, why isn’t he playing? Wasn’t he the player that they thought would be better after watching both of them all through training camp? I guess Andy Reid was wrong, but fortunately, he finally got it right.

The Eagles and Falcons look to be on a collision course to face one another in the NFC title game at the Georgia Dome. Everyone in America (that doesn’t play defense for the Falcons) is looking forward to that possibility.


Brett Favre Breaks New Ground

For the first time in team sports history, a player served as his coach’s boss. This is essentially what happened in Minnesota when Brad Childress sent three players down to Mississippi to beg Brett Favre to come back for his 83rd NFL season. Anyone who knows anything about the narcissistic diva that is Bret Favre knows that he loved this feeling of being the only girl at a homecoming dance at an all boy’s school. All of the attention and power was his. Even though Favre had a 3-7 record and had thrown only 10 TD’s in comparison with 17 INT’s, Childress did not have the authority to bench him for his poor play, simply because his authority as coach went out of the window of the private jet he sent to Mississippi. Thanks in large part to Childress’ brilliant coaching and Favre’s Hall of Fame level of play, one of the most talented teams in the NFL is currently playing with an interim coach and are out of playoff contention. Just to add insult to injury, the roof of their stadium also collapsed. I guess, when it snows, it pours.



AND NOW FOR MY BALLER & SCRUB OF THE WEEK:

BALLER: Michael Vick & DeSean Jackson (Philadelphia Eagles) – This combination is absolutely scary! You have Michael Vick who should be doing commercials for the penal system, because he is the first person that I have ever seen be rehabilitated by prison. He is simply not the same person he was when he enterened prison (maybe T.I. can learn a thing or two from him). He is either a changed man or a ridiculously talented actor. Either way, I commend him on his play on the field and who he appears to be off the field.

O'Dog (my nickname for DeSean Jackson) has to be the second scariest player in the NFL (only behind Vick). He can score from anywhere on the field. His speed is ridiculous (I think he is the fasted player in the league, apologies to Chris Johnson and Devin Hester). I for one am glad that he is such a successful football player, and I hope that he has a long and successful career. Although he is a little fella, he just strikes me as one of those Ball or Rob guys. I hope that I'm wrong, but he seems like the type that would be a Menace to Society if he wasn't a professional athlete. Therefore we should all be glad that he chose to rack up the statistics on the football field and not become a statistic off the field.

SCRUB: ESPN - Brett Favre is injured and did not play last week. As a matter of fact, he may not play again ever. Yet, somehow there is a Brett Favre story everyday on Sportscenter. "Come on Man!" are you serious, it is now time to find a new athlete to stalk. I hear Tim Tebow is looking for some attention.


SCRUB: Tony Dungy (NBC Football Night in America) - Tony, you are now a talking head on television, which means that the NFL no longer gives you clothes to wear each Sunday. Therefore you are now responsible for dressing yourself. The dress code for you current position is a suite and tie. Since you are on national television, i suggest that you stop buying your suits off of the clearance rack at JC Penney's. I am not saying that you have to spend a fortune on your clothes, but your suits have to at a minimum be nicer than mine. Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with JC Penny's, but as a person on network television, you should look like a person on network television. Hit me up if you need some help, I have a homeboy that is a manager at a national men's retail chain that can help you out.